Correction to the Target Entry

Just goes to show the strange state of mind I'm in. The amount of money we paid for our new car is actually Margaret's salary for SIXTEEN years, not two! And that same amount could send a girl like Lakshmi to school for ONE-HUNDRED-ELEVEN years!! For a four-year high school, that would pay for TWENTY-EIGHT girls to complete high school. Now I feel really bad. Thanks, Rich, for pointing out our madness.

Simple Mind, Simple Pleasures

Despite all of our house-hunting and dreaming in the last few weeks, we've decided that our old house on Armstrong is as close to our dream house as we're going to get for now.

Here's our patient and slightly annoyed/bored realtor with Isaac at the last house we looked at on Shipshaw River Drive.

Here's me after realizing that this house that we thought was "the one" needs a lot of work and isn't quite as spacious as we thought. "You sound resigned," my mom said.

The truth is that we love so many things about our house and can't let go of it just yet. And it's home! Frankly, when you've lived out of a suitcase for two months, any place you can call your own for the next long time feels pretty good. We slept there last night on air mattresses and plan to move in completely today. On Saturday Rich started working on fixing a leaky bathtub faucet and I pulled burr-weeds out of the garden. Nice for the moment to start work on our own house!

Our front door (white now and a mis-matched lock, but we can fix that!)

Here's our living room. See, isn't it pretty?

Before these things become commonplace, let me list a few things that give me such a thrill these days:

* Electricity! I made one phone call on Friday to get the electricity turned on , and on Monday I went to the house, flipped the switch on the air conditioner, and immediately heard the thing purr into action. I don't know why, but that was pure joy for me. So easy! Especially compared to the ordeals we had getting our air conditioners up and running in India. Funny how once the house became air-conditioned it felt much more reasonable to live there!

* Fresh fruits and vegetables and cooking on my own. Produce was plentiful and cheap in India, but we soaked everything in chlorine to avoid stomach bugs, which made it lose a lot of its freshness. We are loving baby carrots, crisp celery, vine-ripened tomatoes, avocado, and berries. I'm re-discovering my love for cooking--remembering old recipes and trying out some new ones. Today we tried with smashing success Jessica Seinfeld's Mac & Cheese with cauliflower hidden inside (Thanks for the Deceptively Delicious recipe book, Katie--just getting into it now and loving it!).

* Pulling weeds in my garden. I know this is such a mundane task for most, and always has been for me, but I was in heaven today pulling weeds and re-discovering the plants I planted so many years ago in what seems like another life. In the middle of my weed-pulling, we went down to the creek to throw rocks, watch bugs and spiders, and test what floats and doesn't in the water. I can't believe that creek was always there, yet we so rarely ventured down there. I'm glad we have another chance to enjoy it.

Here's the fig tree that was just tiny when we moved into our house eight years ago. Now it's a hardy fig-producing tree just right for little people to climb

* Meeting my neighbors. Some of them are crazy, but most of them are just plain friendly and nice. Some of them have been there for years, but we didn't ever bother to go introduce ourselves to them. I guess we were too busy with church and babies. It's nice to be in this limbo state of life for now so we can see the gaps that too much busyness creates in our lives. It turns out there are lots of kids at the end of the street in the cul-de-sac, so we need to get over there and make some friends!

* Finding Teji's Indian Market & Restaurant in Round Rock. For date night, Rich and I went there and met the nice Punjabi proprietor and browsed the aisles with all the tastes and smells from our other home. We got some sooji, chiles, and garam masala, then chowed down on some fabulous palak paneer, yellow daal, egg curry, sabjee, naan, and rice. My mouth was so happy. They also rent Bollywood movies and do take-out, and we got to see so many Indian folk come in and chat with the owner--a really small-town feeling there. So nice to know that there is a place we can go to remember and experience anew some of the things we like best about India.

* Rich's great work schedule. Being the amazing, disciplined guy that he is, he has left for work every day by 6:30 am so that he can come home by 3:30 or 4 pm. It's so wonderful to have him home for dinner and for the stores to be open late enough that we can get the stuff done we need to as a family.

The kids watching plasma-screen TVs at Sears while Rich and I shop for appliances.

* Old friends. Everyone we know from our past life is spread out among three wards now, but we've been able to see a lot of them and re-connect. They have been so kind and inclusive with us--inviting us to the pool and for playdates, bringing over cake and ice cream on my birthday, and some just did a welcome-back party for us last night. On Sunday, much to our surprise, they read our records into the ward during sacrament meeting. It felt good to know that we belong there and finally have a home for the next little or long while.

Graham making friends with Rowan at the pool, a child of Curtis & Aislinn, whom Rich knew in college and who adopted our duck Martha while we were away

* A neighborhood school! Our elementary school is nearly one mile away and completely safe to walk or bike. The assistant principal is an old friend in our ward, and we already know so many good friends at school that we are re-connecting with. We went to Kindercamp last week and Russell has been SO excited every since to go to school!


Stay tuned for more blogs. We fully intend to rewind and tell some amazing stories from our trips to Kashmir and maybe some more of our last days in Delhi and other travel. . .

Written In My Journal On My Third Day in America

7 July 2008
Flower Mound, TX, USA

We have moved back to America--but we're homeless and stuff-less until September when our shipment arrives on the boat and we move back into our house. Our "little" house on Armstrong Drive that could house 6 or 7 families from our branch in India. 10-12 if you put some in the garage or on the deck. What kind of crazy, sick world is this where we think such a house is too small (mainly because our stuff won't fit) and I just paid a whole boatload of money for a minivan with leather interior, a sunroof, airbags galore, and a conversation mirror? The amount of money we just paid for that minivan would be about 2 years of salary for Margaret, or 10 years of school for Lakshmi. How do we reconcile it?

While I was in India and a friend would be going to America, I'd say, "Go to Target for me!" I loved Target when I'd come home on home leave. Essential stuff, fun stuff, good bargains, stuff you didn't know you needed or wanted. And to be honest, it was one of things I daydreamed about when I felt excited about moving back to America.

Tonight at 9:00 pm, after putting my kids to bed, I hop into that brand spanking new Honda Odyssey and go to Target. I go down nearly every aisle and stay until they start dimming the lights and announcing for everyone to take their final purchases to the checkout line. Same delightful stuff, same solitary, dreamy feeling I remember from the last time I was in America. But I forgot about the empty feeling of standing in line with strangers, all of our carts full of stuff we probably need much less than we need to be home with our families in bed, or at least connecting with people we love in meaningful ways. I spend $63.00 (Poojah's monthly salary) and walk out of the now-darkened empty Target at closing time.

I load the fresh (yummy!) milk, various cheeses, clothes for Russell, my favorite pens and markers and toiletries into that fancy minivan and drive away. I open all the windows and turn off the A/C, yearning for something organic, something real in all this surreality. Oddly, I miss Anil (our driver). I miss the guard that would have met me at all the doors in India. I miss Margaret and Poojah and Lakshmi, and even that creepy guy that sat outside our gate. And I wonder how I can live as an American now? How can I live the American Dream without denying the ways that India changed me? How did it change me? I'm not sure. And then as I drive along I start sobbing. Why? For the people who will never see a Target? Of course not. Maybe mourning for the futility of such materialism?

And then it hits me. I am crying because I feel betrayed by Target. I realize that I was wrong to consider Target a friend worth sending my friends to visit for me. Target, as it turns out, is not my friend at all--at least not a good one, because I never walk away from it recharged. Same goes for Wal-Mart, a new car, a big house.

But I do have lots of human friends and family here in America I can reconnect with who will bring that meaning, that raw humanity I miss from India back to me.

But I can still shop at Target and drive my new minivan and live in my "big" house, right?

My Dream House

The good news is that our tenants moved out of our house! We went over there yesterday to get the keys and have a look. The kids and I walked through the house straight to the backyard (I tried to ignore the dead grass and weeds) and down to the creek. We spent a little time there throwing rocks in and moving rocks around. Loved it. So peaceful and beautiful back there. But then we went back in the house and remembered that it's still pretty small and still pretty badly laid out. Sigh.

So now we are officially house hunting. So far that means looking at a lot of houses and waiting for something to jump out at us.
Russell pulled this book off the shelf at Deseret Industries in Utah a few weeks ago. I considered it a sign, and bought it.

The book suggests that before we do anything, we come up with a freeform narrative of what each of us define as our dream house. Well, we've already started house-hunting, and we're stumped, so I figured maybe I should try the narrative thing. Here goes . . .

The Front Yard
My dream house is nestled among trees and invites people to come on in. The garage is not the focal point of the thing; ideally it would be on the side or in the back. It has a front porch large enough to sit and chat with someone or read a book while the kids play in the yard.
The house doesn't look huge from the street, even if it is. The house looks like it's part of nature, with landscaping that is less of a well-manicured lawn and more of native, sprawling, informal plantings. The house also doesn't look exactly like everyone else's on the street. It is close enough to the other homes to feel neighborly, but not so close that we could spit and hit each other.


The Public Areas
When you enter the home, you know just what to do and you feel right at home. If you are a member of the family, you have a place to put your things; if you are a guest, you know right where to go and sit down and make yourself at home. Every room in the house has lots of natural light and feels spacious and clean. This means it has vaulted ceilings, lighter colors, or wood/tile flooring.
The kitchen is at the heart of the home, with an eating area and family room nearby. The kitchen is large enough for everyone to help make a meal together and has enough storage space for all of that food storage we like having.

Elsewhere in the home there is another room where one can retreat to read a book, play a musical instrument, do some office work, or talk on the phone.

Perhaps there is another closed-off room, maybe with a separate entrance, where I could teach music classes; this room would have to be large enough for lots of singing and dancing, a place to store extra keyboards, and with a bathroom nearby.




The Backyard
Somewhere in the kitchen/family room area there is a door leading to the backyard where the living space extends naturally; this door invites everyone to go outside and enjoy the amazing backyard. There is a covered patio there, preferably with ceiling fans, where we could have breakfast or dinner or cook our dinner on the grill.
There are large shade trees in the backyard with a few fruit trees and some sunny areas where vegetables, herbs, and flowers can grow. From one tree hangs a swing. Under another big tree there is a rock garden or a sandbox for children to play. Perhaps there is a grassy spot in the yard where kids can play soccer or volleyball, or a cement pad for basketball. In an area hidden from view there is a place for hanging laundry and a place for composting. Somewhere there is a place for gardening tools. Maybe in the back there is a place for a fire pit and some seating for a late-night marshmallow roast.

The Bedrooms
There are three large bedrooms or four small to medium-sized bedrooms. If the house is a two-story, there is a living area upstairs for toys, some seating, or a desk for homework. The master bathroom is not overly grandiose, but it has plenty of closet space for me and Rich and the room is big enough for a small seating area or a desk. The rooms are more than just boxes, but have some built-in bookshelves or desks, good closets, or nice windows or architectural features. One bedroom or enclosed living area is perfect for guests with a comfortable bed or sofabed/futon and bathroom nearby.

The Location
This is key. My dream house is close enough to the city center that you can go to the symphony or a museum without driving forever. If we decided to go to the university for post-graduate studies, we'd be close enough to get there on public transport. It is also located within safe walking or cycling distance of Rich's work, parks, schools, and a pool. Ideally, there would be a place I could reach by foot or bicycle where I could get groceries. On top of that, it's gotta be close to the church for scouts, mutual night, and Sunday meetings. The idea here is to have only one car and not spend our lives in it so we can spend more time outside getting exercise and fresh air.

Oh, and I don't want it to be too big! I don't want to lose my kids and I don't want to clean too much. I don't want to spend our lives maintaining a big yard or spend all our extra money on utilities to keep up a too-big house.

So there you have it. My dream house. A few conflicting dreams there, eh? Hey, at least it's not the urban farm Rich is dreaming of!

Now we've gotta get to work actually finding it. Let me know if any of ya'll find it for me!