How to Understand an Indian Call Center Rep

One of the many things I dreamed we would do in India is learn how to communicate with those call center reps from India. You know the people I'm talking about. Everyone has talked to one at some point in their life. Our elder's quorum president Vatukuti works at a call center where they call people in Canada to raise money for organ and tissue donation. They tell him to avoid admitting he's in India if at all possible and tell everyone his name is Steven.

Anyway, the only way you'll understand their accents is to come visit us and stay awhile. But understanding what they say isn't always the problem--often it's decoding what they really mean to say. But I think I've finally figured out a maxim to save us all from getting hopelessly frustrated when dealing with those Indian service reps halfway across the world. Here it is:

When dealing with an Indian, listen carefully to the first thing they tell you they will do, for that is where their integrity stands. You may ask them to do it differently and they may agree to do so, but 99.99% of the time they will simply do the first thing they said.

Case in point: Our generator finally arrived yesterday. Hallelujah! Isaac was so excited he couldn't stop talking and refused to go to a playgroup he loves. It came in two trucks. One smaller truck with the generator motor and what I think is the battery and another larger truck with the box it will be enclosed in that will hopefully keep it fairly silent. This thing is huge. Like the size of a small car and probably about as heavy. The trick here and the source of Isaac's excitement is that they planned to hoist the thing on the roof! And not with a large complex machine--a physics teacher's dream--a pulley. We've been talking about it for months since we first started working on this project. And visions of block and tackle have been dancing in Isaac's head nearly every night and day since.

So the generator arrived around 5 pm last night. I doused everyone with bug spray and we headed outside to watch the fun. First they looked around for a bit and then drove the smaller truck onto the lawn in front of the house and everybody left for about an hour, probably to get tea. When they came back and started building their block and tackle contraption Sarita showed up so I had the ability to ask them how long they thought this might take.

Now here's the part where my maxim holds true. The first answer Sarita translated was "all the night." Then I asked, "Will we be able to sleep?" to which he replied, "You will be awake all the night."

Well, here it is 4:00 am and we've been awake nearly all the night. They told the truth . . . initially. But after much discussion that wasn't the plan! After that initial response which I should have just accepted, remembering my little maxim, I called the head honcho and told him I didn't want them working into the night. I didn't think it was safe and I didn't feel like staying up all night and I didn't want to disturb the neighbors. So he talked to these contractors for a bit and then he told me that they would work "maximum three hours" and then complete the work in the morning. Ha. They've been working all night tearing down walls and pulling on pulleys with all their might. I woke up at one point sure there was an earthquake in the house! But we all huddled in our bedroom (for fear the roof might cave in over the boys' room) and we finally got Isaac wound down and the kids at least have slept pretty well. Rich is currently asleep on the floor next to me, so he's doing okay right now too.

So anyway, there you have it. When dealing with an Indian, realize that he isn't a liar. He will always stick to the first thing he says, no matter what he may tell you after that. Maybe I should write a book or start a cross-cultural training business. Or maybe I should just remember my little maxim and stop getting frustrated when it proves itself true once again!