Calimist Fire and the Power Rangers

Russell has quite the imagination and likes to tell stories at night. They are quite long and most of the time I am sound asleep on their bedroom floor by the end of it. For the sake of our family record-keeping one night I decided to transcribe a story he was telling to Merinda and I.

The readers' digest condensed version is:

• These exotic animals, superheroes, and fish gather for an epic battle.
• A mighty clash of good versus evil (or baddies versus goodies) ensues.
  
• The good guys win.

The story seems to me like a mash-up between some superhero cartoons he must have seen, (except that we don't have any) and the epic battles of ancient Hindu literature (which we have never told him about). If you've ever read the Indian literature like the Ramayana, it's a lot like this. Fantastic creatures with casts in the billions doing epic battles in a clash between good and evil. I wonder if there isn't something in being heaped in with piles upon piles of colorful people that inspires this sort of thing.

There is also a girl-eating, piano-crushing, swimming character named "Celimist Fire" that Russell invented with the help of Brandon one day. I can't explain that one.

So for those of you with the time and courage to read on, I give you "Calimist Fire and the Power Rangers":

Once upon a time there were these power rangers. A red power ranger, a purple power ranger and a red power rangers. Four power rangers. There was another power ranger a white power ranger. And there was a yellow power ranger.

They all went to a city called America. We've been there before. There were spiders. They didn't drink their blood, but they did get their swords.

Then Batman came. Spiderman came. Superman came. I saw them came. He was the baddie. There were all the goodie. The one with ice on it, he was called White Ice Man. And they were all fighting and it was a party-fight. Ice Man freezed them, Spiderman tied them up with webs, and then Batman punched these webs, and then Powerangers chopped it, and the red one was the leader, and then all of them zoomed over them and the spiders died.

That's the first scene of the story. And then the next scene is in water. And there was the killer whale and shark and the fish. The mean fish. And then all the fishes that were scary and evil in the sea. And then all the fishes that weren’t scary and evil and the sea and then all the goodies and baddies had a big fight. And then eventually they didn't have killer whale. And then the killer whales and sharks and scary things were on the goodies team.

Then the goodies teached the other goodies to be the best fighter. And then somebody dropped in the water the scary fish. And then (this is really scary, mom this is the scary part). Then a boy and a mom dropped in the water ahead of the thing that is poisonous. The mom dropped on it and died and the kid dropped on it and died. And do you know what they did? They came back alive and swimmed.

And then they saw....the killer whale!!! And they were on both teams. They were on every team in the world. The goodie team and the baddie team. And they were on the submarine team and the boat team and all the teams in the world.

And then they were Calimist Fire. Calimist fire is like a T-rex except it is black. Did you know that Calimist Fire can swim? They can break everything. Everything except a piano.

[Mom: Why won’t they break a piano?]

Because Calimist Fire don't actually like music. And then all the Calimist Fire in the world were swimming.

Calimist Fire likes boys, they see some girls, and then they can break pianos, except for lights, they can break anything except for lights. Know why? The lights make things light and he loves light. He actually breaks pianos. He thinks that girls play stupid and boys play good. The only thing that he can break is light.

And then what happened is all the Calimist Fire in the world came, all of them, and they all jumped in, and they were all black. (Did I mention that all Calimist Fire are black, except in the winter when they turn brown.) And then there were different colored ones black ones and brown ones (the brown turn black in the winter) and the blue ones, and all of them jumped and all of the animals in the sea went under the water.

At first, do you know how they float on water, they lay down. First they jump down, and they get straight, first they are crawling, and then do you know what they have to do, they get straight like this [he demonstrates], and then they move their hands like this and tip over like this: Shhhhhhh. And their blades help them swim.

And then, do you know what they saw? All the animals squished together on top of the water, and all the turtles were on the top of the water, and all the things that were under the water and can't float stayed under the water.

And here is the really scary part. One Calimist Fire sees another Calimist Fire, but they noticed the baddie Calimist Fire just do nothing, they don't have any superpowers. The goodie ones can do anything in the whole world, except die. Calimist Fires if somebody shoots fire at the place where they got bit by a shark, do you know what happens, they get stitched together.

The next thing they climb up on top and then you know what they do, the jump on top of the tree, jump on top, and then they are so strong that they shhhhh the tree so they fell down, and then (this is really scary) the whole world turned into hot lava. And everyone in the world died except for the Calimist Fire!!

And then they guy was printing something and then it was nighttime, and it was the baddie which was Freeze-Man!! And he can only freeze one thing and that's the police. And he was printing something. And they all said freeze! (and this is really funny) and then let me take a drink (and this is really funny) and he freezed everybody (and this is kind of scary) and he didn't freeze everybody. And they pointed their guns like this and the Calimist Fire fire, and he came in, and this was cool, he turned into hot lava, and turned into a gun, and turned into fire, and then he was fire-man. Magic, huh? And the fire-man was made of fire. And then do you know what he did? And if fire-mans touch people then they die, and he touched the freeze man and he died.

And then the Freeze-Man came back alive (and this is scary) and then the Freeze-Man freezed again. (and this is really funny). And then he turned back to Calimist Fire, a black a Calimist Fire. And then Power Ranges came and Superman came and Batman came. So Superman carried Batman, Calimist Fire carried Spiderman (all the super heroes were friends with Calimist Fire) Calimist Fire don't eat boys they only eat girls, but they have friends with girls, 5 girls. They don't ever see girls in this story.

Have you heard this story before? It's a difficult story.

And then somebody Evil-Maaaan. His name was Evil-Man-Hot-Lava. And he was on freeze-man's team which were the baddies, and all the baddies in the world came and none of the baddies have superpowers except hot-lava-man.

Calimist Fire can turn into a baddie, but he doesn't in this story.

But then hotwheels police came and batman police and superman police came and spiderman police came and and the most scariest one the Calimist Fire police came. And they broke the baddies house. Except for their lights.

The End.