Thursday, July 24, 2008

A Little Adventure is Good For the Soul

Aby has forbidden me to stop blogging, so here's yet another entry from last month I didn't finish until now. Stay tuned for something more current about what's going on in the here and now in America . . .

Last summer on a trip home, my dear friend Deb gave me some vinyl letters she thoughtfully made for me to put on my wall that say:
A LITTLE
ADVENTURE
is good for the soul

I put it up in our room and I often ponder on what that exactly means and if it's true for me. Has this little adventure been good for my soul? Has it been too much adventure to be good?


Not sure.

But here's how I'm different, from my perspective:

1. I know how to have non-LDS friends. It sounds silly, but I didn't really have many non-member friends before I moved to Delhi. I grew up in Utah, went to BYU, and lived in Leander, TX where we had a ward chock-full of people just like us. So I never needed anybody else. When we first arrived in Delhi there were three other expat LDS families in Delhi, and they all lived on the other side of town and were in a different branch. Yes, I could have made friends with lots of people in our branch, and since then I have a bit more, but at first I needed someone more like me. Someone who understood the expat dilemmas. So, for better or for worse, I have lots of non-LDS friends. They get together often for coffee and go to expensive restaurants in the evenings and drink wine. They go shopping together and compare giant gems they are wearing. They talk about which places in Europe are the best to visit in the summer, how annoying their servants are, and how hard it is to find a house within your housing budget.

Thankfully, since our arrival many more LDS expat families have moved to Delhi and I've become good friends with more people more like me. But I'm grateful that I've learned how to be more in the world, and hopefully not too much of it.

2. I know how to yell and scream to get what I want. This can be very useful. Yelling and screaming was not my nature as an adult, but those who knew me as a child may recall that as the only girl in my family with two older brothers and one younger (until Janielle arrived), I fully understood and utilized the power of yelling and screaming. So I guess in India I got back in touch with my inner child. It was essential there, not so acceptable here.

3. I no longer know how to cook and clean. Or so I thought. It turns out that it's pretty much like riding a bike--you don't every really forget how. Motivation is a whole other story. I am loving the cooking part, but frankly I never loved to clean. Now that I'm out of the habit, I'm gonna have to work to get back into it. I'm hoping I can train my beautiful children and husband to do most of it!

4. I'm really good at booking flights and hotels for vacations. It's really an obsession. I'm going to miss all of those cool vacations to far-off places. But I don't think we're done traveling yet. Just gotta make it a priority.

5. I know the Pearl of Great Price, the Old Testament, and the living prophets better because of the seminary and institute courses I've taught. One of the best things about living in a place where the church is so new--they let little old me teach CES!

6. I know how to fly long distances on airplanes with small children. I know how to get through security without too much trouble. After a year or so I learned that taping a little paper with everyone's name to their passport was a good idea so I wasn't constantly having to open them up to find the right one when I filled out paperwork. I learned that when you travel with kids, it's better to take less, and make them carry their own little backpack to lighten my own load.

7. I speak a little Hindi. I have learned how to better communicate with people who only speak a little English.

8. I wear wild and crazy clothes and jewelry. Sometimes. Though I think I'm a bit of a chameleon, and have found that now in the USA I tend to dress more like everyone else.

9. I am a better manager. Sort of. Or maybe I just realize that I'm really not a good one and need to learn better how to manage people.

10. I know how to cook some Indian food. But not enough. I guess the real thing I've learned is what good Indian food tastes like. I'm hoping to make some Indian friends in the next place we live so I can learn from them how to cook some of my favorite dishes that I didn't get enough practice making. Oooo, what I wouldn't give right now for a pile of good home-cooked Indian leftovers--yellow daal, some spicy sabjee, and jeera rice with raitha sounds really yummy right now. Maybe with some eggplant and paneer. And piping hot chapatis with just the right amount of bubbles and brown spots. Yummy.

11. I'm a better music teacher. Teaching Musikgarten in Delhi really brought so much joy to my life, and I loved teaching my own kids along with others from all over the world. I'm hoping I can keep it up in some way in America.

12. I've seen a lot of Bollywood movies. I didn't like them at first, but now I just think they're the greatest. With Bollywood people are good and noble and the villains are horrible. Everything merits a song and dance, and I'm sure this changed my psyche in a fundamental way.

13. I drink Coke. Not anymore really. Remember the chameleon part? I'm not really drinking it now that I'm back to Mormon-dom and people who know me as Molly Mormon. But I must admit that I did take to drinking a bit of Coke in Delhi. Not every day. Mostly just when I had an upset stomach (which was often during some periods--Rich's mom always gave her children a Coke when they were sick), and other times when I just thought I needed it. Yummy water, Graham calls it!

So there you have it. The thirteen ways our "adventure" living in India changed my soul.

Was it good for my soul? I'm afraid if it was, I just can't quite articulate it right just yet. Maybe never. But living in India definitely changed my soul forever. And probably even more, it changed the souls of our children. I think that's a good thing. Time will tell.

4 comments:

Mrs. Smith said...

The little papers in #6? Genius! I am so using that next year.

V said...

I am also curious about #6. Passports & luggage allotment are both good tips. Any suggestions on how to keep the kids happy/quiet on the flights?

Merinda Cutler said...

Glad you're still ready, Val! Here goes. Since I have three kids now, I often end up not sitting right by them. So it's really important that they have their own bag so they are not asking for stuff from me all the time. But I don't put too much in that bag! They have to be able to carry it, and I have to be willing to lose the stuff in it when they leave it under the seat. The best things I've found are surprises. I usually do a little plastic lunch box with favorite treats I know each of them love. The baby (okay, he's two, but he's still my baby!) gets a pacifier in a special pocket he knows about, diapers, a sippy cup, and maybe one tiny book or toy airplane or stuffed animal. Isaac and Russell get a new sticker book, or just stickers and a homemade book (stapled papers with "Isaac's Airplane Book" or "Isaac's Travel Journal" written on the front), maybe some crayons and colored pencils, a toy airplane or car, and a drink (if it's a sippy cup, they usually won't take it away from you at security). I'm always amazed at how much time they can spend looking out the window and talking about what's going on out there, reading the airplane safety card, playing with the barf bag, or looking at (or ripping apart) the in-flight purchase catalog). I usually bring a change of clothes for them all, and I often have them change into pajamas when I want them to sleep on long flights. Oh, and while I'm sharing flight tips for kids, never EVER keep your kids awake in hopes that it will help them sleep longer later. When you're dealing with jet lag and new situations, usually an over-tired child means a louder child, and sometimes a child who is so out of sorts that he/she (okay, I have no idea if that would be true for shes, since I've never had one!) will NEVER go to sleep and everyone on the plane is going to kill you if your kid doesn't stop screaming. Another thing to remember: Those people who glare at you when your kids cries can just get over it. They will likely never see you again, and someday very soon they will realize how very hard that flight was for you was and feel bad for being so mean.

Aby Runyan said...

Wow! Nobody ever listens to me! Woo hooo!!
Glad you're back blogging, never ever leave again!
luvs, aby