Hang Gliding!

For our anniversary present Rich let me go tandem hang gliding. What a rush! I got two chances to get all suited up because the first time the wind wouldn't shift to the right direction so we had to give up and try in the evening. This is the first time . . .This is the mountain we literally stepped off of. Normally you run and then jump off and start flying, but the wind was so strong that we just stepped off. At first I couldn't keep my legs from shaking, I was so nervous once we took off, but I willed them to stop and they finally did. Then I started to enjoy the ride.
I was flying tandem with this old crazy guy who handed me the reins to steer and instructed me to send us spinning around. Scared me to death!
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Mindy flying like the wind!
We were up in the air for about 25 breathless minutes. All the while my tandem partner was chatting away like we were sitting in his living room. Very surreal. Rich met us at the bottom where we came in for a landing in a field. We land on our bellies. Come visit us and we'll show you some videos of the fun adventure.

Our Romantic Getaway in the South Island, NZ

While Mom and Dad graciously played with our kids all week in Auckland, Rich and I ran away to the South Island for a much-needed break. We hardly knew what to do with all the quiet, the wide open spaces, and the breath-taking beauty!

Rich posing in front of a roadside field of lupine flowers. Delicious. We almost felt like we were home on Grandma & Grandpa Key's farm with the bluebonnets and Indian paintbrush in full spring bloom. G&G Key's Farm + Utah-like Mountains = Paradise!
The boat we took to explore Milford Sound. This is a must-see spot in all the tour books, but we had a difficult time capturing its grandeur on camera. You've gotta just go see it for yourselves.Posing in the rain by one of the many temporary waterfalls in Milford Sound. It rains almost all the time here and it was cold!
Cycling around Lake Wanaka. We stayed at the Mt. Aspiring Hotel and they loaned us some bikes to ride. We had a great time, but we eventually discovered you can't ride around the lake! So if you ever go, don't try it. But I did get a taste of some tame mountain biking, which Rich loved and I liked more than I thought I would.

I have to include these pictures because for some reason they tickled me so much. Maybe because cows are so present in India and these are so different from what I've become accustomed to. I stopped to take a picture of them and they all turned and looked at me blandly.
Within a few minutes, all the cows in the field had mosey-ed on over and were all just standing there staring at me as if waiting for me to entertain them or tell them something they hadn't already heard. I found it hilarious for some reason!
In front of the Fox Glacier. I'd never seen a glacier before. Fascinating.Us in the window of the train we took that crossed the South Island from Greymouth to Christchurch.Our last stop in Christchurch. We stayed at a great hotel called Livingspace and ate Mexican food.
As we got off the train we saw this scene of a cyclotouring company picking up their clients. On this trip we discussed an idea for our next life adventure of starting a cyclo-touring company near Niagara Falls and doing cyclotours to Church history sites similar to what we did in 2002. One of us could teach school to get the medical insurance and a steady income and then we could run the business between us and even get the kids involved when they get older. I thought I'd write it down here so we don't forget!

Christmas in Delhi

Though we left for Christmas for a trip to visit Mom and Dad in New Zealand, we did celebrate a bit beforehand with a district Primary activity at Sister Pritchett's house and Mommy's Musikgarten Family Music Party.

Isaac and Russell getting in the mood (Russell trying out Amy's Christmas gift of pearls).Graham and Sister Vimla Mani the Primary president. He was very happy at this little party.
Graham taking a break from charming everyone.
Isaac took the cookie-decorating very seriously, but was humored me with a half-smile.
Here's Sister Pritchett dressed up as an angel surprising us with her praise dancing. We expected her to come down the stairs singing the Hallelujah chorus, but instead she pumped up some hip hop and danced her heart out to all of our wondering eyes!
The boys well-integrated into the Primary group decorating cookies.
Russell with Dolly reverently examining Sister Pritchett's nativity set.While the kids decorated cookies, the men were downstairs playing pool. Here's President Beesa taking a shot. Photo courtesy of Rich.
Here's the party we had for my Musikgarten students and their families. So much fun! Gotta love a place where you can spread out picnic blankets at Christmastime.Here's the craft table at the party, manned by Amy Klassen (and her daughter Alexis--they have three girls to match our three boys in age). Amy is my new great friend who is here in India with her family as Mennonite Brethren missionaries.
Teething Graham. Don't you just want to give him a squeeze?
Graham standing on the drum so he can reach the musical instruments

Sacrament Meeting Talk in Leander Ward Dec. 2005

I'm tackling my piles of papers these days and found this talk I gave in our ward just before we moved. I thought I'd put it on the blog to preserve it and have a blast from the past.

December 18, 2005

Joseph Smith and the Proclamation on the Family

Introduction

Many of you know that we are moving to India at the end of this month. We are excited, sad, and terrified all at once. When I was in college I spent a semester in a rural village in Mexico teaching literacy to adults. Though I enjoyed it and probably did do some good, I often felt that I could do good more at home with my family who were struggling with various things at the time. So when this opportunity came to our family, I was grateful that now I have my own family and we are all going together. We may be disappointed by the amount of good we can do in India, but the influence we can have within our own family will remain unchanged.

My topic today is Joseph Smith, but I want to focus what I say about him around the Proclamation since President Jackson in Stake Conference urged us to “return to the Proclamation.” As I read through these journal entries compiled by Susan Easton Black, I was touched many times to see Joseph as a real person who got sick, who played with his family, who loved his wife. Though he pre-dated the Proclamation, he certainly lived each of its principles. Let me share some of these snapshots of his exemplary life with you while I bear testimony of the Proclamation.

I know that, as the Proclamation states, marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God.

November 24, 1835: Marriage is an institution of heaven, instituted in the Garden of Eden.

April 4, 1839: Dear and Affectionate Wife, I would gladly walk from here to you barefoot, and bare headed, and half naked, to see you.

January 20, 1840: My Dear Emma, my heart is intertwined around you and those little ones.

August 13, 1842: I was much rejoiced to meet my dear wife once again.

August 14, 1842: Spent the forenoon chiefly in conversation with Emma . . . both felt in good spirits and very cheerful.

Today is our anniversary! I am so grateful for a loving husband and for the commitment and joy that temple covenants bring. He is my best friend and so good to me.

I know that the family is central to the Creator’s plan. I know that the divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave.

Parley P. Pratt, Apostle, 1835–1857: It was Joseph Smith who taught me how to prize the endearing relationships of father and mother, husband and wife; of brother and sister, son and daughter. It was from him that I learned that the wife of my bosom might be secured to me for time and all eternity; and that the refined sympathies and affections which endeared us to each other emanated from the fountain of divine eternal love. . . . I had loved before, but I knew not why. But now I loved—with a pureness—an intensity of elevated, exalted feeling. Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt, ed. Parley P. Pratt Jr. (1938), 259–60.

April 16, 1843: In the morning of the first resurrection let me strike hands with my father.

March 20, 1842: The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the enemy of the man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world.

I know that we will see our loved ones who have gone before us to the Spirit World. I can’t wait to meet my dear loved ones there, and to join with many of my sisters in this ward and elsewhere in raising the children we only knew for a short time. I can’t wait to “meet Brother Joseph again.”

I know that parents have a sacred duty to . . . teach [their children] to love and serve one another

Joseph Smith: “It is a time-honored adage that love begets love. Let us pour forth love—show forth our kindness unto all mankind, and the Lord will reward us with everlasting increase; cast our bread upon the waters and we shall receive it after many days, increased to a hundredfold.”

September 1, 1835: Fathers should be kind to their children, husbands to their wives . . . children obedient to their parents.

September 14, 1843: My house has been a home and resting place for thousands.

June 25, 1844: Dear Emma, Myself and Hyrum have been again arrested for treason.

June 26, 1844: Could my brother, Hyrum but be liberated, it would not matter so much about me.

I learned a good lesson from my son Isaac recently. I said in passing one day, “Isaac, I need you!” Later in the day, he asked with a solemn face, “Mom, why do you need me?” I could tell he was flattered and excited at the thought that I might need him, and I started to think of all the reasons that I really do need and rely on him. We all need to be needed—allowing yourself to need someone strengthens the love between you.

I know that the family is ordained of God. I know that mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.

March 27, 1834: Remained at home and had great joy with my family.

I am so glad for the teachings of the Church that urge women to stay at home with their families. I have found the sweetest joys there as I watch my children grow and see the world through their eyes.

I know that successful marriages and families are established on the principle of faith.

August 31, 1842: Rode to the Grove with Emma, and attended the Female Relief Society’s meeting.

October 13, 1832: My Dear Wife, You must comfort yourself knowing that God is your friend in heaven and that you have one true and living friend on earth in your husband.

There is sweetness in sharing your faith with your children and your husband. I know that God is indeed my friend in heaven and my best friends on earth are in my family.

I know that successful marriages and families are established on the principle of prayer.

February 10, 1836: I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ to heal my brother Hyrum, and bless my father’s family.

April 25, 1842: I was engaged in reading, meditation . . . mostly with my family.

January 16, 1834: O Lord! Keep us and my family safe, until I return to them.

January 28, 1836: I felt to praise God with a loud hosanna, for His goodness to me and my father’s family.

To me, being a mother is scary because so much can go wrong. I find solace in the fact that I can pray to Heavenly Father for the safety and well-being of my children, and rely on the Spirit to guide me as I care for them, and know that if something goes wrong, the Lord is mindful of us and will help it work together for our good.

I know that husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. I know that successful marriages and families are established on the principle of compassion.

September 16, 1838: I was at home all day with my family.

September 8, 1843: My wife being sick, I was at home all day.

August 19, 1836: My beloved Wife: You may know that you and the children are much on my mind.

August 1, 1838: I tarried at home with my family . . . to refresh myself after many late fatigues and arduous duties.

July 13, 1843: I was in conversation with Emma most of the day.

March 24, 1832: I told Emma, she had better retire to rest . . . I would watch with the sicker child.

February 26, 1843: My mother was sick with inflammation of the lungs, and I nursed her with my own hands.

I am so grateful for a husband who, like Joseph, cares for me and my children with his own hands—changing diapers, staying home to help, fixing and building things, laying hands upon our heads. He is sensitive and thoughtful, faithful and strong.

I know that successful marriages and families are established on the principle of respect.

August 22, 1842: I have thought of my father who is dead . . . he was a great and a good man.

August 23, 1842: I loved my father and his memory; and the memory of his noble deeds.

My father-in-law often thanks Heavenly Father in his prayers for those who have gone before us. I hope we can be as Joseph Smith and retain in our memory our ancestors and our indebtedness to them.

I know that successful marriages and families are established on the principle of work.

June 4, 1842: My Dear Companion, we all enjoy the fruits of our labour if we hold out faithful to the end which I pray may be the happy lot of us all.

May 13, 1842: Spent most of the day in my garden with my family.

March 9, 1842: Continued translating and revising, and reading letters in the evening, Sister Emma being present in the office.

Some of my sweetest memories with our family and our ward family center around working together. There is great joy in working and serving together. I am so grateful to have worked and served with you.

I know that successful marriages and families are established on the principle of wholesome recreational activities.

September 4, 1834: Circus performance, which I attended with my family.

February 8, 1843: At four in the afternoon, I went out with my little Frederick, to exercise myself by sliding on the ice.

July 21, 1843: Rode to the farm with my daughter Julia.

June 3, 1843: This morning, I, with my family . . . started for Quincy, on a pleasure voyage.

March 18, 1843: Played ball with the boys.

My father, too, was always good at finding time for wholesome recreational activities with his family. I always knew Daddy worked hard at work, and then came home to play with us. We’d wrestle around with him, play outside, take fun and cheap family vacations (which usually included camping and hiking!), and share silly made-up stories.

I know that by divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.

March 25, 1839: There are many teachers, but, perhaps, not many fathers.

September 9, 1842: I offered a blessing upon the heads of my sleeping children.

July 6, 1842: Transacted business in the city, and rode to LaHarpe with Emma.

May 28, 1842: Walked to the store with Emma, transacted some business in the city.

March 3, 1834: O Lord, bless my little children with health and long life, to do good in their generation.

March 5, 1843: I stayed home all day to take care of my mother, who was still sick.

It’s tricky to balance work and home, and it appears from Joseph’s writing that he did a pretty good job of it, despite his busy schedule. He seemed to always be willing to take time out from work to help family members in need, and included his family in his work when he could.

My Testimony

I am grateful for Joseph Smith. I am excited to meet him in the next life and shake his hand, thanking him for all he did for us. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God who was bold enough to restore the Gospel on the earth and spread it throughout the earth. I am so grateful for that.

President Hinckley said, “Joseph Smith set in motion a program for carrying the gospel to the nations of the earth. I marvel at the boldness with which he moved. Even in the infant days of the Church, in times of dark adversity, men were called to leave homes and families, to cross the sea, to proclaim the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Prophet’s mind, his vision encompassed the entire earth.”

I am grateful that our family has the opportunity to cross many seas and do our best to build the kingdom in India. I wish we didn’t have to leave our home and ward family to do it! But I am grateful that I can go with my little eternal family and that as we rely on each other and serve together, we will find joy that can only come together as a family. Please come visit us, and we’ll come back to visit you.

I know God lives and loves us and had a plan for us. I know our Savior Jesus Christ lives and was resurrected and suffered so that we may live forever and return to His presence. I know Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and that he saw God the Father and His Son and translated the Book of Mormon, the word of God. I know this is the only true church on the face of the earth because of its awesome priesthood authority from Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the peace and joy that my testimony brings me and my family.

Isaac's 6th Birthday Party (23 September 2006--Better Late Than Never!)

The balloon man. He showed up a few hours before the party and blew up 200 or so balloons FAST with no special tools but his own mouth and CO2. Russell was mesmerized and then the two became great friends.
The balloon man stayed and did balloon sculptures. This is Hiroya (from Japan) and Yeryeon (from Korea) who are both in Isaac's KG class.
Mariam, Isaac's best friend in his ECEC4 class last year.Janya, one of Isaac's newest friends in his KG class this year.
Tom, his oldest and best friend. He's from Australia, but more recently from China, so Isaac often tells people his best friend is Chinese!
Russell hugging his best friend Ellie Joyce (Tom's sister).
Isaac the Birthday Boy wearing a crown he made for himself during "choices time" at school.What was supposed to be a rocket party (a repeat from last year, since, as Isaac said, "I don't have any of the same friends this year, so they won't mind!") evolved into a balloon party when Rich threw down the "rocket" balloons from the roof, filled with a bit of dal (lentils).
The view from the roof of the party as it was warming up . . .Margaret, our housekeeper, and her daughter who helps her Poojah helped to make all of this happen.Margaret and Poojah quietly cleaned up most of the party as we were socializing with lingering guests. We could definitely get used to some of these perks of living in a third-world country!
Playing musical chairs using foam squares.
Russell covered in cocoa after helping make the frosting for the birthday cake!
Graham getting spoiled again by Margaret while Mommy was in the midst of decorating the cake ("Don't worry Mommy," said Isaac, "I'm sure it will look exactly like the one Grandma did!" A tall order . . .)
After much stress, the cake didn't turn out all that bad. As requested, it did look pretty much like last year's cake.Isaac, on the other hand, seems like a completely different boy from last year. So much bigger and wiser and more confident. I love this photo because you can see on his face how very special he felt, but he was trying to maintain a "cool" look on his face despite the urge to grin. So grown up!

The birthday boy and his proud parents (with a dad who is the birthday dad extraordinaire!)
Graham-bam loves to pose for the camera!!
Playing with the spoils from the party afterwards . . . a Hot Wheels set from Tom!

Of Ants, Grasshoppers, NGOs & Big Business

Following is one of those forwarded emails entitled "Enjoy the Truth" spreading around Rich's office. It's a retelling of Aesop's fable "The Ant and the Grasshopper." I found it fascinating. Rich said, "Not very funny, but a highly interesting glimpse into the Indian mind. Shocking, really..." Another great thing about being a foreigner: something as pedestrian as forwarded email becomes cultural artifact. . .


From: [An Indian rising-middle-class engineer]
Sent: Thursday, January 18, 2007 6:41 PM
To: [The Indian engineers at the office & Rich]
Subject: FW: Enjoy the truth

Jokes!!

OLD VERSION...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

ArundhatiRo y stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house. Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper. The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance). Opposition MP's stage a walkout.Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry. CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational Institutions & in Govt Services.

The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Ro y calls it "a triumph of justice". Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden' Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi billion dollar company in silicon valley. 100s of grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ...

As a result of losing lots of hard working ants and feeding the grasshoppers, India is still a developing country......

Merinda's Two Cents:
Interesting, eh? So this is clearly a revision of a similar email that bombarded American inboxes during various recent presidential elections. Here's one American revision of the ant & grasshopper fable. Fascinating how two different cultures can take an idea and spin it so differently. This Indian version seems to blame the world's well-meaning aid to and capitalistic exploitation of India as the reason the grasshopper is still starving. In America, it's simply the Democrats who are to blame.

Even more fascinating is that in India the grasshopper is the loser, while in many American interpretations (in Disney's old flick the grasshopper ends up playing his fiddle for the ants in their tunnels and they all live happily ever after) the grasshopper is the winner because he is the artist, the party animal, the one who truly enjoys life. In India where starvation is a stark reality, not just a romantic idea (i.e. "a starving student or artist"), the ant is clearly the winner simply because he's alive, enjoying life or not. And with so many people starving here in India, the only way some can reconcile the injustice is to conclude that the grasshoppers must deserve it. If only those NGOs would stop feeding them . . . !!

I guess in the end it's not all that different from the Democrat vs. Republican rhetoric. Just looks shocking from an outsider's perspective, especially an American who used to believe the world is dying to have a piece of the "American Dream" and it's our job to share it. Not so sure about that anymore when I read about poor remote villages in India horribly polluted because they don't have electricity in their huts so they are using diesel generators to charge up their battery-powered TVs to get a slice of such delectable American fare as Friends and Desperate Housewives. Okay, I don't know if that's what they're really watching, but American TV is definitely here in India.

This week there've been protests in India because of some racist comments to an Indian actress on a British reality show. Sometimes I wonder if this global culture thing is really a good idea . . . Maybe we were all just meant to stay home with our mothers minding our own business.

Poisonwood Bible & Servants

I just finished The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. Beautifully written and gives a good view of expatriate life in general, especially from the child's perspective, something Kingsolver should know about because she was a "third culture kid" herself in Africa. Good writing aside though, for me at this stage in life it just hit too close to home and pegged my life wrong (I hope). It’s all about a Southern Baptist minister and his family who go to the Congo to convert the heathens and how they don’t have a clue about how to survive and how to convert people, if they need to convert them at all. Tragedy hits their family and they get all tangled up in the imperialistic (money-grubbing) "help" from the United Nations after the Congo declared independence from Belgium. In the end I had this horrible taste in my mouth about being an expatriate and working to help the Church grow here. Her critique of Americans who presume the whole world wants to be just like them is scathing, to say the least.

I guess it was good for me to read because it reminded me that I have to be really careful not to pass hasty judgments on people and culture here since so much of it is much more complex that it appears on first glance. Rich said the other day that the longer he lives in India the less he feels like he understands. So true.
So we passed our one year anniversary living in India AWAY from India! We felt like such wimps. But we went to New Zealand to visit my parents for Christmas. It was heavenly. Almost an exact foil to Delhi. Clean air, quiet, long stretches of roads without a soul in sight, etc. So wonderful to be with my parents and have a break. It’s good to be back though and face the music, which is good music most of the time.

It’s really really cold right now. Such a nice break from the blazing heat that’s coming soon. I love to cozy up in my fleece pajamas and drink hot cocoa in bed with piles of blankets on me. Someday I plan to live in a climate with four seasons again! Rich is headed to the US tomorrow for a big meeting with his boss and he needs to tell him if he wants to stay here longer or not. I’m back and forth on the matter and almost wish we didn’t have a choice and they just made us stay so we could buck up and just do it. Anyway, hoping to get some inspiration on the matter quickly.

I just sent an email to a friend who is moving here and trying to work out the logistics of who to hire for her "staff". When you figure it, we employ 5 full-time people and 2 part-time. We have our own health insurance plan for them, terms of employment, etc.. Figuring that for every person you give a job to in India, you are feeding 5, that's around 30 people we're taking care of. Some days it seems that most of them are at our house, although really there's only about 9 or 10 who actually are here at the house at any given time (that's not counting us).

So anyway, when I reread the email it seemed worthy of posting because our lives are so bizarre . . .

Our car costs us Rs. 45000 for the month. Driver comes with the car. We provide the driver quarters because we have them, but the owner has a sort of bunkhouse in Gurgaon for his drivers if we didn’t. I think he gets paid Rs. 5000 of that lease amount, but I’m on the lookout for a fantastic one to replace him and I’m willing to pay for it. Maintenance is cheap, diesel isn’t. If we leave the Delhi/Gurgaon/Noida area he charges us Rs. 10 per kilometer (22 cents). The car is a Toyota Innova, 8 seater (though definitely smaller than the equivalent USA Toyota minivan).

Mali (gardener): Rs. 800 to come every day for an hour to water, weed, sweep the area in front of the house.

Sweeper: Rs. 550 to sweep the driveway and wash it with water every other day. On the off days she cleans the bathroom the driver and guards use. I added the bathroom to her duties a few months ago with a pay raise when I realized everyone considers it beneath them to do this job and it seemed worth it because the users of it handle my children!

Guards: The company pays for their salary (an exorbitant amount I can’t recall at the moment, of which the guards only see a small fraction) but we give them Rs. 400 per month for tea! I know it sounds ludicrous that we pay this, but there’s a long history behind it. They were perpetually coming and asking for more tea, more sugar, etc. and then getting into fights because so-and-so was drinking more than his fair share. So I got fed up with it and this money is a sort of bribe, I guess, to leave me alone already about the tea! We also pay Rs. 150 per month for their newspapers. Tomorrow I’m about to go out and buy them a new heater because the old one isn’t enough for them. Pampered, I’d say.

This photo is the guard, driver, and a bicycle rickshaw driver we hired for the day all watching the sweeper work. They often seem bent on highlighting the fact that her job is beneath theirs. In case you wondered why we need so much staff, here's a case in point. India's all about division of labor. Rich always says the sweeper and the mali are the happiest people he knows, so I guess happiness is independent of caste anyway.

Cook/Ayah: Rs. 5500. She also gets quarters. She is my highest paid employee yet. She was making a lot more at her old job though, and I think she’s worth it most days because her English is impeccable, she is honest, she’s pleasant, and she doesn’t pick fights with the other staff. She’s also a pretty good cook and adores our children without pampering them too much. All of this I didn’t really know about her when I hired her. Best to start low and give merit increases, I would say.

Housekeeper: Rs. 3500. She works part-time and this is her first job (she’s Margaret’s daughter, so shares the quarters). I plan in the next few months to try to get her to REALLY clean the house well and if she succeeds I’ll give her a big raise. She cleans, folds clothes and irons. She helps with the kids here and there as well.

Here's Margaret, Poojah and her whole family of five who live on our little "compound" with us.

As a general rule, I’d say it’s best to hire staff that have enough experience that you don’t have to train them too much and enough English that you can communicate, but be wary of those who have years of experience with expats because they are often spoiled and sneaky. You don’t always get what you pay for. Also, English skills are a big premium, so if you are game for using your Hindi, you can save a bunch by going for those that don’t speak well. My friend Amy has done this and pays her maid Rs. 3000 with no quarters. Rich is reading over my shoulder and says he wouldn’t recommend this.

Oh the things you learn in life that seem so important at the time, but will be worthless when you return to your own reality!