March 2, 1950 - December 14, 2008
She passed away peacefully December 14, 2008. The mother of my husband, the grandmother of my children, the mother-in-law everyone should have. But we were able to be here. We were able to talk to her, to hold her hand, to wipe her face with cool cloths, to sing to her, to read to her, to kiss her goodnight. We were able to keep Grandpa's house loud and messy, and crack plenty of jokes in a feeble attempt to keep us from tumbling into the reality that our mother and Ross's dear sweetheart is no longer on this earth.There have been many miracles. Breast cancer diagnosed in 1999, treated, and sent into remission for a time. She was able to be here while all four of her living children grew into adulthood and saw them all get married in the temple.
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Her house wasn't perfectly clean, but she knew how to make things grow. She didn't always fold her laundry right out of the dryer, but she knew how to make and fix any article of clothing. She knew how to cook everything from scratch and had every tool imaginable to do it with. She came to visit us in India. She prayed for us. She sewed cushion covers for our couch. She made amazing quilts for Isaac and Russell and a beautiful blessing outfit for Graham.
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On her last visit to our home in Austin, it was Halloween and she went trick-or-treating with the kids in the bicycle rickshaw. She made us lasagna and sewed the backing on our elephant quilt so we could hang it on the wall.
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At Thanksgiving we joined them at Katie's house in Katy, and I knew something had changed when she left us on our own to make the feast without any direction from her. Yet even though she felt rotten, she put on the blue skirt I had brought her from India and put on her makeup to come to the table and eat our clumsy feast.
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A week later all of her children sat with her in a hospital room in Dallas and laughed together, despite the grim pronouncement that her liver was failing. When I visited with her, she told me she didn't even want to feel better anymore, but she still smiled. When she left the hospital to come home, she had Katie do her makeup and she sat on the couch and talked to everyone who had come to see her--her mother and father, her brother David and her sister Elizabeth and her husband Don. I cooked and cleaned like a maniac, terrified for what long road may lay ahead for everyone. We set up the Christmas tree and ate one last meal together.
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When we came back five days later, another piece of her was gone. She could still speak a little, but her look was vacant, her breathing labored, her face contorted in pain. It was painful to stay by her side now, but I longed to do it more this time. After coming to grips with the fact that she wasn't completely there anymore, it began to feel peaceful to sit by her side and listen to her breathing, remembering all she had taught me and all that she was and still is.
After partaking of the sacrament one last time in her home, on Sunday, December 14th at 10:23 pm, she peacefully breathed her last breath in her bedroom with Rich, Katie, Dad and I by her side. She no longer feels any pain, and I know she's working hard in the Spirit World and making up for lost time with her daughter Becky. Looking back, her last words to me were uttered the day before she died and were: "We need to get working on it." Thinking she was talking about the Christmas shopping, I rubbed her shoulder and said, "You don't need to worry about it. We will take care of it. It's your job to rest." Unwittingly, I suppose I committed to continue her work on the earth. A tall order that could take a lifetime and the help of some pretty amazing other Cutlers. I'm so blessed and happy to call myself one of them.
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7 comments:
What an absolutely beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing these sweet memories.
I feel like I know your sweet mom-in-law because of your amazing words. All my love to you, Rich and the boys.
luvs, aby
beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Now to catch up with the rest of your blog...
Here I sit crying for someone I've never met. What a beautiful idea to do the hand-prints. I'm glad you guys were back in TX and able to spend so much time with her. What a peaceful loving tribute.
I am so sorry. Scott lost his mother in October. Even though it has been three months now, I still get tearful. How blessed we were to have married men with such wonderful mothers.
This is just lovely. I will forever be grateful the Combs and Cutlers are such dear friends.
She really loved you the best and was always so proud of Rich for snapping you up for our family. She was always so impressed with you and all you did. You are so expressive. I keep coming back and reading it. (BTW be careful of what music you are listening to while you read it. Louis Armstrongs "What a wonderful World" not a good choice :) )Looking at the picture of the family surrounding the painted casket...we sent her with the hand (and a couple of foot) prints representing all those who she loved and loved her. Her parents, husband, brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, and a dear friend. While not all are present, all are represented.
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