Won't you be my neighbor?

We get a community newsletter for our little neighborhood every month. The entries and articles are sent in by the residents. One of Merinda's friends, a Mennonite missionary lady is frequently asked for entries because she is one of the few that is willing to write something positive. Most people just write in to complain.

For context, ours is considered to be a pretty nice neighborhood. It isn't the most upscale in Delhi, but pretty close. Here is a sampling to give you a taste of the goings on. FYI a "wallah" is a professional in something. Like, a plumber would be a plumbing-wallah, a guy who pedals a rickshaw is a rickshaw-wallah and so forth...

From the "Snapshots" Section of the New Friends Colony Community Newsletter:

• Munnilal, Mali! A gardener named Munnilal, after working very well for 1 1/2 years at the D-Block Park, took an advance of Rs. 7000 from a resident of the Block and disappeared. Apparently he is still working somewhere in the Colony. Any resident who knows his whereabouts please inform us.
• Low Cables Cause High Tension! There are electric wires hanging dangerously low in the Community Centre. The concerned authorities must take note as it could be a fatality if a passerby comes in contact with the cables and is electrocuted.
• Road Discipline Needed: The road between Archies and the Community Center is usually blocked by traffic largely because of rickshaws and auto-rickshaws parked haphazardly all over the road. The ricksaw-wallahs loudly shout out for passengers, literally compelling passersby to use their services.
• Roads Flood With Rain Water: With the few days of rain last month the road outside the Community Centre was so flooded that many girls who seemed to be stranded were spotted requesting Rickshaw-wallahs to help them cross over in their Rickshaws to save their shoes and clothes from getting soiled and soaked. Whatever will happen with the rainy season actually begins?
• Baraat Park? A tent-wallah has almost taken over the Park next to Shivji Mandir adjoining the Club. He books it for marriages and other functions in the Park, in league with the authorities. This has become a big business for him, especially because the courts have clamped down heavily on most other Parks and the illegal baraat ghars [wedding party houses] of South Delhi.
• Stop this Eve-Teasing [cat calling]: A resident of D-Block has complained that her grown-up daughter is being eve-teased by the young labourers working at a house construction site. They invariably pass lewd remarks and personal comments about her.
• From Smelly Corner to Community Centre: A new Community Centre is coming up on the empty plot next to Sujan Mohindra Hospital. The place that was known as the "stinking corner" has finally been given a cemented boundary wall and construction has begun. We will soon have a swanky area with another Community Centre to use for rest, celebrations, and shopping.

Finally here is a sampling of some of the main articles. This one is a little gross, but for the sake of documenting life in India, must be repeated:

Tragedy of the Park Taken over by the Club
by Vinod Aggarwal

Aruna Kapoor a resident of the D Block wondered why the authorities don't construct a toilet next to the park which has recently been taken over by the club. "I have to cover my nose with a handkerchief when I walk in the park. The entire area stinks. Urine is flowering down from all sides. As you enter from the D-Block side, sweepers, rickshaw-wallas and laborers can be spotted urinating with total disregard to anybody passing by. I have no choice but to walk there because of my illness, I am unable to go very far from my house."

Earlier the park was being looked after by the DDA [Delhi Development Authority]. They had maintained it in a much better condition. If the club is unable to look after it, they should return its upkeep back to the DDA. Even though there is a guard but he is helpless as nobody bothers about him. It seems the park is too big for a lone guard to control.

Once we spotted a furniture polisher polishing the chairs of the club in that park. This attitude further adds to the casual and arrogant behavior of the people who are constantly mauling the park.

Nowadays even the grass of the park has been ruined and the ornamented plants and flower beds are nowhere to be seen. Earlier the department malis [gardeners] used to get after people who used to ruin the park. Now the culprits are never questioned.

If the club looks after the park then they should put a board saying so, so the residents who use the park know where to go if they have a complaint.

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So, just to end on a upbeat note, here is the article written by Merinda's friend about their dancing get-togethers. I saw these ladies do their thing at a party and it was pretty impressive.

Bhangra at Bindu's: More Residents Can Come & Join
by Amy Klassen

What motivates you to exercise? For many, it helps if the exercise is fun and involves others. For a few months now, some ladies have been dancing the Bhangra in A-Block to keep fit and have fun together. It has also proved to be a great opportunity to get to know each other and learn together.

At the moment the group is exclusively for ladies, there are ladies from various backgrounds in the group, as well as various ages represented. Most of those involved had no previous experience with Bhangra, so anyone who is willing to give it a try is welcome.

There is no charge for the workout and there is presently room for more ladies. If you are interested, please come and check it out. For further information please call Bindu at -- or Amy at ---

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So, it really is true that there are low-hanging wires, flooding roads, rickshaws everywhere, parks in chaos, Bhangra dancing, and spots that smell worse than others, but it's also true that it's easy to become accustomed to all that, and it's really not as bad as it sounds above.

What is interesting is why write these complaints in a community newsletter? I don't know but a few reasons come to mind:

1. Raise awareness in the hopes that something may happen.
2. Actually complaining to the "authorities" is not going to result in anything, so you might as well vent in a newsletter.
3. Nobody is really sure who the "authorities" actually are...especially the authorities themselves.

For the sake of the good residents of New Friends Colony and of the rest of India (where it's all downhill from here) we hope that things get better, but until then it's nice that there are still interesting places in the world!

Another Day in the Life of Mindy

7:00 pm (night before--to get the full picture we must start here...) I fall asleep on the floor while giving the FHE lesson. I've been totally exhausted fighting whatever disease my body has. I vaguely hear Rich and the kids pop popcorn and go to bed.

1:00 am I wake up and take out my contacts. Can't sleep because I'm still coughing and have been for over a month. I drink some herbal tea and read "A Joyful Mother of Children" by Linda Eyre for a bit. I realize that many of my frustrations are not unique to India and maybe I could get over this cough and feel better about life in general if I got some exercise.

6:00 am I wake up and tell myself I'm going to get up and take a walk. Fall back to sleep

6:45 am Isaac crawls in bed with us (next to Graham who joined us some time in the wee hours). I try to get out of bed and go for a walk without anyone noticing. Isaac asks where I'm going. "For a walk," I say. "Can I come?" I tell him he can if he gets ready in time. He does in lightning speed and we take a short walk.

7:00 am I come home to Russell nearly hyperventilating because he's been crying the whole time we were gone. "I wanted (sniff sniff) to go with Ma-Maaaaa."

7:15 am Russell and I go for a walk. I carry him most of the way. It's already getting hot. We see two dog fights on the way.

7:30 We eat breakfast. Oatmeal.

7:45 I realize I no longer have time for a shower and try to make myself look presentable enough anyway. Can't put my contacts in because one eye is too swollen. Maybe too much sleep?

7:55 Isaac and I go off to school leaving Rich with the sobbing Russell in his arms: "I want to go with Ma-Maaaaa!"

8:30 Drop Isaac off at school

8:40 Sign up Russell and Isaac for Saturday Swim Classes. I put them in the same class, mostly for logistical purposes. It's called Water Exploration, so surely they can both handle it.

9:00-10:00 Hindi Class. I learn how to say "Do Not Disturb" in Hindi: "Disturb nahee carriega." Good to know.

10:00-11:00 Wait for the driver to arrive outside the school on a bench while I worry about the kids at home with Sarita. Feel very guilty that I'm just sitting here while I could be at home taking care of my kids. Wonder if the Hindi class is such a good idea.

11:00-12:00 Go to Marcia's House for a coffee hour. I don't drink the coffee and wait for the kids to arrive with Sarita.

12:00-12:30 The kids arrive. Russell has a poopy diaper that's soaked through because he won't let Sarita change it. I get him all cleaned up and into Isaac's pants (which Sarita had mistakenly brought along). He won't take them off all day, insisting they are his pants as he pulls them up for the thousandth time!).

12:30-1:30 We all go shopping together. Try for the third time to get into a shop called Basix that supposedly sells the only sofa beds in the city. The first time I tried to go it was closed for this strike against the government because they're tearing down buildings that aren't built to code. The second time I tried to go it was closed. On this third attempt today I find that the government had "sealed" the shop so not even the owner can get in! When I call the owner to see if it will open again, he assures me it will be "de-sealed" by tomorrow. We'll see . . . Meantime, Mom's prospect of a bed apart from an air mattress is looking dismal.

1:30-2:15 Go to the doctor to see why I'm still coughing after 1 month and two rounds of antibiotics. I don't realize until I cart the kids in and get checked in that I don't have any rupees to pay for the visit and Rich has my ATM card. I walk away frustrated. I try to change my US dollars at a nearby bank, but they don't do that there, of course. Realize I won't have time to see the doctor anyway once I try another bank, so I give up and go get Isaac.

2:00-2:30 Pick up Isaac at a playdate at a Korean classmate's house. His mom said (in broken English) she wanted Isaac over to help her son practice his English. When I arrive they are watching Harry Potter and eating pizza and there's another Korean classmate there. Isaac looks scared and/or bored. I rush him out of there as fast as I can. Isaac tells me in the car they didn't wear seatbelts on the way home from school. I say, "That's not really safe," and don't really know what else to say. Most Indian cars don't even have seat belts in the back seat. How can I require my kids to wear seat belts if they aren't even there?

2:30-3:00 Drive home. As we get out of the car the guard informs us that the garbage man will no longer pick up our garbage because it's too smelly (from our diapers--I guess we have more of them than most since we don't let our kids poop in the street). I wonder what we'll do if nobody will pick up our garbage . . .

3:00 Find that Sudhir has put two really wet and soapy rugs in the dryer and the whole mess is sloshing around in there. I ask him what this is and he looks at me blankly. I send them off on their lunch break and try to fix the mess. Just after they leave I find a square burned onto the wooden table in the kitchen hiding under a muffin tray. Make a mental note to ask Sarita about that one. This sort of stuff must be what Claudia was talking about when she kept telling me not to let them near anything you couldn't handle being broken or ruined.

3:00-3:30 Isaac lays on the rug at my feet while I feed the baby. "Mom, what does settled mean? Are we settled yet?" Everyone here seems to ask that question: "Are you settled yet?" I think for a minute, then say, "Isaac, I think settled means you feel like this is home. Do you feel that way yet?" "Yes," he says, and runs off to play. I'm so happy to hear he feels settled!

4:00-6:00 Feel too exhausted to face the projects and staff angst at home, so I decide to go to the Australian-New Zealand Mom's Group (they let Americans come as long as they aren't too obnoxious!). There's about 20 kids there, 12 moms, 3 ayahs (nannies). The "bag man" comes to show us all the designer leather bags he can make. I watch nearly all of the moms order a bag while I feed Graham baby food and try to fight fires with the kids. This bag man has funky colors, cool designs, all for $20-30. I think about how I still need to buy a generator and come up with more space for storing clothes and choose curtain fabric before I start thinking about bags. Besides, Rich would kill me if I came home with another bag!

6:00 Come home and make Mac and Cheese for the kids. I'm trying to gorge them on it before it expires in hopes that they'll be so sick of it they won't want it anymore once it's gone! Not sure if it will work. I don't plan on telling them we can get it here for $5 a box!

7:00 Find that Sarita and Sudhir have written angry messages in their time card book because we didn't pay them the way they wanted. Stew about that one while I get the kids ready for bed.

8:00 Sit down and try to figure out what is going on with Sarita and Sudhir and try to work out a workable solution. Graham wakes up and joins me on the floor nearby--he will sit happily forever chewing on a toy and then suddenly switch to the tummy-down position and zoom off in search of something better. His favorite things to head for are electrical outlets, of course!

9:00 Rich comes home and makes me toasted tuna and cheese sandwiches and offers good advice about dealing with Sarita and Sudhir. He lays down on the rug beside me and falls asleep.



I wrote all this down thinking that it would illustrate what a terrible day I had. Once it all came out, it wasn't all that bad. It turns out that I have bronchitis, so perhaps my feeling for the day was colored by the infection and exhaustion a bit. Anyway, it's a good life. In the end, the kids make life so joyful no matter where we live, as long as I step back from the mayhem and recognize it!