Running in the Rain

On Saturday we woke up at 5 am to drive to Brenham for the Blue Bell Fun Run. Why did we do this? To hang out with Grandpa, Aunt Katie, Uncle Dave, and Cousin Ellie on her 2nd birthday, of course!
And then, of course, there was the all-you-can-eat Blue Bell Ice Cream after the race!
The first race was the Kid's 1-Mile Run. Isaac and Russell were all set to go, and they bravely walked through the pouring rain to the starting line as thunder and lightning struck in the distance. Russell had the bad luck of standing in a fire ant pile at the starting line, and burst into tears at the starting bell as they attacked him! We brushed them off and he bravely set off running with Rich by his side to catch up to Isaac (who had waited for him). They finished together at 11:01. So proud of my boys who are best friends that stick together and work hard.
I set a New Year's Resolution to train for a 5K, and slowly and sporadically I have gotten to a point where I can at least jog that distance VERY slowly. So while the kids bundled up in the car with Grandpa, Rich & Ellie as the rain pelted outside, Katie, Dave and I decided to go ahead and face that race.

And we finished it! I jogged the whole time with squishy sneakers, making mental notes at several points of where I could run for cover if it started to hail. At a few points the visibility was so bad that I wasn't quite sure how much farther I had to go. But I just kept on plodding along and finally crossed that finish line. I came in 276th place, but I finished and had a blast running in the rain! Wahoo!

Next Year in Jerusalem!

For FHE this week we decided to do a traditional Seder dinner for Passover to help the kids learn more about their heritage as children of Israel. I pretended all day to be a Jewish mother bustling around getting things ready for the feast: setting the table, buying the unleavened matzah bread, cooking a real little whole chicken (a stretch for this semi-vegetarian girl!) for the matzo ball soup, and trying to figure out adaptations for the symbolic foods that our kids might actually taste.

Isaac with the two candles the mother lights at the beginning of the Seder, the "wine" (apple juice), and just below that the matzah (unleavened) bread covered with a napkin.

Russell and Elijah's cup of "wine"
(we used apple juice because I wasn't so sure all of the kids would drink grape juice)

I'm not sure if I got the plate set up just right, but here's what it should have:
1. A shank bone (we used a bone we picked up in Kashmir that was probably a goat bone)
2. Charoset--this is supposed to be chopped up nuts, fruits and spices. I mixed peanut butter, almond butter, applesauce, cinnamon and sugar. The kids loved it.
3. Bitter Herbs--I mixed wasabi paste with some plain yogurt since I didn't have horseradish
4. Green Vegetable--I used cucumbers instead of parsley so I was sure the kids would eat it
5. Boiled Egg

We did not do everything strictly as we might if we were Jewish, but we did our best. We used a modified version of BYU professor Victor Ludlow's Passover Seder script. We summarized some of it and used some pictures as we told about Moses and the children of Israel in Egypt, their deliverance, the Last Supper, and the appearance of Elijah in the latter days. Here's a good article from our Church magazine on how the Passover symbols apply to our own LDS religious beliefs. I got the recipes for the matzo ball soup and the (sinfully) DELICIOUS matzo almond bark dessert from Family Fun. I realized as I studied more about the Seder that more than anything it is designed for children, so it should be fun and include songs, laughter, good food and cozy family togetherness. We taught the kids the "Dayenu" song's chorus and we sang it after Rich recited all the things God had done for the children of Israel. Here's a YouTube video with the song and some images that show the Christian connections.

Everybody loved the matzo ball soup. A fair amount of silliness, but they were attentive the whole time. Isaac stole the matzo for the afikomen and bartered with Dad for the delicious matzo almond bark for dessert. Russell said, "I want to do this when I grow up too."

When Are We Going to Let it Go?

Okay, I know you've all been thinking it (all two of you). I have been too. When am I going to be able to let go of the fact that I lived in India, and just get on with my life? When am I going to let go of this blog and write more stuff in my new, kinda dull blog/life?

Which leads me to my next question: Am I only able to write blogs worth reading when I live in a crazy, amazing place? Or is the place and the life I live now crazy and amazing and I'm missing it somehow because I can't let go of crazy-amazing India?

Maybe I'll let go of it on the one-year anniversary of our return to America--July 4th. I've got more stuff to tell about for future's sake before I let go, so I better get busy.

A mental list put down:

1. Copenhagen trip--our favorite, but somehow we never blogged it!
2. Pushkar Camel Fair with Dawn, Pulsipher Kids
   
3. Jodhpur for a co-worker's wedding with Rich
4. Christmas Trip to USA
5. Trip to Rome
6. Trip to New Zealand to visit parents, met Rich on the way back in Bangkok
7. Packed up stuff and said goodbye to everyone in Delhi
8. Trip to Scotland with Brandon
9. A Tribute to Poojah
   

And stuff to record after returning from India:

1. Kim & Scott's Wedding
   
2. Hurricane Ike
3. Isaac's baptism
4. Brandon visits Austin for Thanksgiving
5. A visit from Pulsipher cousins in November

So I guess whether anyone's reading or not, the blog will live on at least until July 4th. Any great ideas for a new blog that doesn't bore me and you?

Callings & Connections

Since we've been back to America, we've been busy in the Church. I don't know why we're surprised by this, but we've been more busy with callings and assignments that we expected. In India we were crazy-busy teaching Seminary, Young Women, Primary, Institute, Priesthood, English, piano, visiting members, counseling with members, attending baptisms, teaching with the missionaries, and Rich was leading the branch. We did all of that because there weren't many other people who had the time and resources to do those things. We had a car, we spoke English, we didn't have to work on Sunday. Not many in our branch had such luxuries. Now Rich is a high councilman, and I've got four callings/assignments: stake food storage specialist, ward emergency preparedness specialist, temple preparation teacher (with Rich--my favorite one), and more recently Young Women Camp level leader.

The YW camp one almost sent me over the edge. "There's so many other people who could do this," I ranted to Rich, "Why do they have to pick me?" I don't mind being busy at church. I think I actually usually enjoy it. Yet in India the work I was doing was in the trenches, the foundational, anchored-in-the-basics-of-the-gospel stuff. I almost always felt like I was building the kingdom in everything I did. Now as I collect money for berry orders, hassle people to get their reports in to me, send emails about preparedness that few people read, and plan preparedness activities that few people attend, it doesn't feel so meaty. I'm not saying the stuff I'm doing now is not important. I know that it is in its own way. But I miss doing all the teaching I was doing in India, teaching the scriptures and gospel principles and leadership principles that were fresh and new to people. Here in America where we often take the Gospel for granted, Church sometimes feels more like a chore than a saving force in our lives.

Yet the saving force remains, sometimes to save little old me. After I did all that complaining about the YW camp calling, I went to the first activity--a sleepover with the youth camp leaders on Valentine's Day weekend--a little grudgingly. There I found an instant friend--Diana N. who lived in Bangalore, India for a summer with her kids while her husband was there working. She traveled all over without her husband, because she couldn't stand not to. We stayed up almost all night talking about everything from food to travel to feeding the poor to the growth of the church to the people we knew in common. Diana is working on a children's book with a woman she met in India that tells the stories of child-pioneers in the Church in developing nations. She could talk to me about India in ways that others cannot because she has seen it, smelled it, tasted it, traveled it, vomited it. Yet she was endlessly hopeful in her outlook.

That night I was reminded that the Lord knows what I need and will save me through the stuff he sends me to do and the people I meet along the way, even if I'm not saving the world every day. And now he's blessed me with another meaty assignment--teaching the temple prep class with Rich. I love teaching with the man I love best, and it's thrilling to participate with some wonderful people on their road to the temple. I'll stop complaining, I guess.

Indian Cooking Class, Part 1: Dals & Chicken

My friend Susan asked me to do an Indian cooking class at her monthly cooking class in November. Dawn P. & Mark P. came to help, and we had a great time sharing what we love. I was so happy to have a motivation to figure out how to cook some of the foods I love. Here's the first part of the handout I gave the class . . .

Mostly North Indian cuisine discovered in New Delhi 2006-2008

Benefits of Indian Cooking
Simple & fresh ingredients (once you have the spices)
Same basic procedure for many dishes
Vegetarian options
Many shelf-stable ingredients
Freezes & reheats well
Delicious!


Where to Buy Indian Foods in Austin
Teji's‎ Grocery & Restaurant
1205 Round Rock Ave, Round Rock, TX‎ - (512) 244-3351‎

Gandhi Bazaar (+Curry in a Hurry)
2121 Suite 113 Parmer Lane
Austin 78727
Phone: (512) 837-9701

Ambica Foods in Texas
3203 S. IH35, Suite 580
Round Rock, TX 78664


Basic Spices
jeera (cumin, seed & powder)
dhania (coriander)
haldi (turmeric)
chili powder
curry powder

coriander leaves (cilantro)
mint leaves
ginger paste
garlic paste
mustard seeds (black)*
cardamom (green & black)*
cinnamon sticks
fenugreek*
curry leaves*
garam masala*
chicken masala*


Basic Ingredients

Grains:
wheat flour (finely ground)
rice (long-grain—basmati)
besan (chickpea flour)
sooji (Cream of Wheat)

Proteins:
chicken
paneer (fresh cheese)*
lentils—yellow, black* (daal)
garbanzo beans (chhole)
pinto beans (rajma)
black-eyed peas (rajma)

Basic Flavorings:
lemon juice
plain yogurt
vegetable oil
green chiles (small)* or serrano chiles
ghee (clarified butter)*

Vegetables:
tomatoes
cucumber
potatoes (aloo)
cauliflower (gobi)
onion
okra (bhindi)
spinach (palak)
sweet bell peppers (capsicum)
green peas (muttor)
green beans
eggplant
green onions

Helpful Equipment:
sharp knife
large, heavy skillet/wok
heavy pot
mortar & pestle
food processor/blender
pressure cooker

* Usually only available at Indian grocery


_________________________________________________________________
Dal Makhani
(Dal cooked in butter)
Definitely my favorite dal. Anything with cream and butter has to be delicious!


1 cup black urad dal (whole black lentils, or any other lentil)
1/4 cup kidney beans (rajma)
2-4 tablespoons butter/oil/ghee
1 c. onion, chopped
1 tablespoon ginger-garlic paste
2 medium tomatoes, chopped
1 teaspoon cumin powder (jeera)
½ t. chili powder
(3/4 cup tomato puree)
1-2 t. salt

1 teaspoon garam masala powder
½ - ¾ cup fresh cream
Fresh coriander leaves (cilantro)


Soak the dal and rajma overnight. Add enough water to cover and pressure cook or boil till the lentils are soft. If pressure cooking, this should take 20-30 minutes. If boiling, it should take around 2 hours. Split lentils will take less time. Set dal aside.

Melt the butter in a pan, add onions and sauté till they turn pink. Add the ginger-garlic paste. Sauté till golden brown. Add finely chopped tomatoes and cook till pulpy. Add the cumin powder and chili powder; sauté for 1-2 minutes. (Add the tomato puree.) Sauté for another 2-3 minutes.

Add the cooked dals into this masala (mixture). Salt to taste. Add the garam masala powder. Cover and cook over a low flame for about 35 minutes. Add water as needed to maintain a thick, soupy consistency.

Add the fresh cream and garnish with fresh coriander before serving.

Serve with rice or rotis (chapattis).

_________________________________________________________________
Everyday Yellow Dal

Serves 4

1 cup yellow split peas, soaked in cold water for 1 hour
1 large tomato, cut into 8 wedges
1-4 T. canola oil
1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 medium red onion, finely chopped (about 1 1/2 cups)
3 large garlic cloves, minced or pressed (or 1 T. garlic paste)
1-2 t. ginger-garlic paste
1 teaspoon coriander powder
3/4 teaspoon ground turmeric
1/2 teaspoon cayenne (I used 1/4, thought it was plenty, although I may be a wuss.)
1/4 cup minced cilantro leaves (I abhor cilantro, and always replace it with flat-leaf parsley.)
1 tablespoon unsalted butter (optional)
1/2 teaspoon salt

Drain the soaked dal (split peas) and place in a large saucepan. Add the tomato and 3 cups of water and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer, cover and cook until peas are tender, about 1 hour. Pick out any tomato skins and whisk dal to emulsify it. Keep warm over very low heat.

Heat the oil in a medium skillet over high heat. When the oil begins to smoke, add the cumin seeds, covering the pan with a lid or splatter screen. After the seeds have stopped sputtering, add the onion and sauté over medium heat. About 3 minutes later, add the garlic and sauté until most of the onion has turned dark brown, about 10 minutes altogether. Add the coriander, turmeric and cayenne, stir and pour mixture over the dal. Add the cilantro, (butter) and salt to the dal and simmer for another 5 minutes. Serve hot. Tastes better as leftovers!

_________________________________________________________________
Chhole (Garbanzo Beans)
from Sarita
Sarita was our cook/housekeeper during our first six months. When I asked her if she knew how to cook, she said no. But when I asked her to cook what she would cook at home for her family, she and her husband cooked some pretty amazing dishes. Here's one of them. This is the dish I referred to in this blog entry.

1 c. dried garbanzo beans, or 1 can garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
2 c. water
1 cinnamon stick
1 black cardamom pod, crushed
1 onion, chopped or grated
2 tomatoes, grated or chopped finely
1 t. chhole masala (or curry powder)
½ t. turmeric powder
1 t. garam masala
chopped cilantro (garnish)

1. Cook beans in water in pressure cooker or on stove until tender. (Skip this step if you are using canned beans.)
2. Heat oil in pan, add cinnamon stick & cardamom; cook until popping.
3. Add onion and cook until golden brown.
4. Add tomato, masala, turmeric. Cook a minute or two.
5. Add cooked beans and heat through.
6. Remove from heat and add garam masala and chopped cilantro.

_________________________________________________________________
Black-Eyed Peas in a Spicy Goan Curry
Serves 4 to 6


1 cup dried black-eyed peas or two 15-ounce cans, drained
2 tablespoons, canola oil
1 small yellow onion, minced (about 1 cup)
1 teaspoon coriander powder
1 t. ginger-garlic paste
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 teaspoon cumin powder
1/4 cup minced tomato (1 small tomato)
2 cups (or 1 cup if using canned peas) hot water
1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste if using canned peas
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1 cup canned coconut milk
2 tablespoons minced cilantro leaves
1 tablespoon lemon juice


If using dried black-eyed peas, rinse and soak them in enough water to cover for 6 to 8 hours. Drain.

In a large saucepan, heat the oil over medium-low heat and saute the onion until it turns dark brown, about 8 minutes. Add the coriander, garlic, ginger, turmeric, cayenne and cumin, and stir for 2 minutes. Add the tomato and stir over low heat until it disintegrates.

Add the peas and mix well. Pour in the hot water, if using, add the salt and sugar, and bring to a boil. Turn the heat down to low, cover, and simmer until the peas are cooked through, about 30 minutes. If using canned peas, simmer for only 10 min. Stir in the coconut milk and simmer uncovered for another 8 to 10 minutes. Add the cilantro and lemon juice. Serve hot.


_________________________________________________________________
Chicken Curry
from Sister Monica Beesa
Sister Beesa, the district president's wife, who worked as a cook at the time for an American family, came to our mutual class one week to teach us how to make this delicious dish.

2 lbs. chicken
4 medium sized onions, chopped
5 medium tomatoes, chopped
4 T. oil (or more)
1-2 cinnamon sticks
1 bay leaf
2-3 cardamom (small, green, elichi)
2 t. ginger-garlic paste
1 ½ chili powder
1 t. curry powder
1 t. chicken masala
2 t. coriander powder
1-2 t. turmeric
Coriander leaves (cilantro)
Salt to taste


1. Heat oil in pan, add bay leaf, cinnamon stick, cardamon and onion and fry until brown.
2. Put in ginger-garlic paste, tomatoes, chili powder, curry powder, chicken masala, and salt to taste. Let it cook for 5 minutes.
3. Add the chicken. Fry continuously for 8 minutes and add 2 cups water.
4. Cook the chicken until no longer pink and add coriander leaves as a garnish. Serve over rice or with chapattis/naan.


_________________________________________________________________
Chicken Biryani
from Vattikuti Ramarao
While we were moving back into our house in the USA, we had a surprise visit from Vattikuti who had come to Dallas for some training. We unpacked enough dishes and spices for him to cook us up something yummy. I took lots of notes so I could re-create it. Yum! I only wish Lalitha, his wife, had been there to add her two cents to it. My favorite part about watching him cook was that he just put in whatever we had, and didn't bother about it when we didn't have some of the things he asked for.


3-4 T. oil
1 t. jeera seed
½ t. mustard seed
2 onions, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 inch ginger, chopped
2 small green chilies, halved lengthwise
2 chopped tomatoes
2 bay leaves

Spice Mix:
1 t. turmeric
1 t. jeera powder
1 t. coriander powder
1 t. garam masala powder
1 t. chicken masala

1 lb. chicken or potatoes
4 t. ginger-garlic paste
2 ½ c. basmati/Jasmine rice (washed twice)
6 c. water
2 t. salt
½ c. cilantro
½ c. frozen peas
1 t. ginger-garlic paste


1. Saute jeera seed & mustard seed in hot oil until it starts to pop. Add chopped onion and cook a few minutes.
2. Add garlic, ginger and green chilies. Cook on medium-high for several minutes. Add tomatoes & bay leaves; keep cooking until almost like a paste.
3. Meanwhile, mix together the powdered spices and set aside.
4. Add chicken. Stir. Add 4 t. ginger-garlic paste and spice mix (masala). Add rice and sauté while you get water. Add water and salt; cover and cook on high for 5 minutes.
5. Add cilantro, peas, and ginger-garlic paste. Reduce heat and cook 5-10 min.

_________________________________________________________________
BUTTER CHICKEN (CHICKEN MAKHANI)
As a young women's leader at church, I would ask all the girls what their favorite food is. They would invariably say Butter Chicken. Yum.

SERVES 6


MARINADE #1
* 1 3/4 pounds skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - cubed
* 1 tablespoon lemon juice
* 1 tablespoon chili powder
* salt to taste

MARINADE #2
* 1 cup yogurt
* salt to taste
* 2 tablespoons garlic paste
* 1/2 tablespoon garam masala
* 2 tablespoons melted butter
* 1 tablespoon chili powder
* 2 tablespoons ginger paste
* 2 tablespoons lemon juice
* 2 tablespoons olive oil

SAUCE
* 1 tablespoon butter
* 1 tablespoon garam masala
* 1 tablespoon ginger paste
* 1 tablespoon chopped garlic
* 1 tablespoon chopped green chile pepper
* 2 cups tomato puree
* 1 tablespoon chili powder
* salt to taste
* 1 cup water
* 1 tablespoon honey
* 1/2 teaspoon dried fenugreek leaves
* 1 cup heavy cream


DIRECTIONS

1. To Marinate: Place chicken in a nonporous glass dish or bowl with lemon juice, 1 tablespoon chili powder and salt. Toss to coat; cover dish and refrigerate to marinate for 1 hour.
2. Drain yogurt in a cloth for 15 to 20 minutes. Place in a medium bowl; mix in salt, garlic paste, garam masala, butter, chili powder, ginger paste, lemon juice and oil. Pour yogurt mixture over chicken, replace cover and refrigerate to marinate for another 3 to 4 hours.
3. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
4. Place chicken on skewers. Place skewers in a 9x13 inch baking dish and bake in preheated oven for 20 minutes, or until almost cooked through.
5. To Make Sauce: Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Stir in garam masala. When masala begins to crackle, mix in ginger paste, chopped garlic and green chile peppers. Saute until tender, then stir in tomato puree, chili powder, salt, garam masala and water. Bring to a boil; reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring in honey and fenugreek.
6. Place chicken in sauce mixture. Continue cooking for another 5 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink inside. Stir in fresh cream.

Another Reason We Miss India: Optimism

Don't get us wrong. We love America. But there is a certain cynicism here that infuses so much of the media, people's conversations, and politics. In India, Rich loved going to work in a place where people were yet untouched by layoffs, were young and enthusiastic, and people will always tell you that anything can be done. Maybe it's because the country is so young, but I think it's more than that. Whether or not things work out as well as they expect, Indian people in general have an optimism that is refreshing and inspiring. And it can't ever hurt to sing a happy, catchy song and hope for the best! Obama, Obama!

Reason #34 Why Coming Back to America Was the Right Thing

Claudia Arlene Key

March 2, 1950 - December 14, 2008

She passed away peacefully December 14, 2008. The mother of my husband, the grandmother of my children, the mother-in-law everyone should have. But we were able to be here. We were able to talk to her, to hold her hand, to wipe her face with cool cloths, to sing to her, to read to her, to kiss her goodnight. We were able to keep Grandpa's house loud and messy, and crack plenty of jokes in a feeble attempt to keep us from tumbling into the reality that our mother and Ross's dear sweetheart is no longer on this earth.

There have been many miracles. Breast cancer diagnosed in 1999, treated, and sent into remission for a time. She was able to be here while all four of her living children grew into adulthood and saw them all get married in the temple.
Six of her grandchildren were able to know their grandmother, read stories with her, work with her, cuddle with her, cook with her, and play with her.
And one beautiful granddaughter was born one day before her death and now bears half of her name--Lyndia--and reminds us all of the beauty of life.
Claudia lived four years of her busy, motherly life after the dreadful pronouncement that the cancer had returned and metastasized all over her body. She did everything the doctors ordered and bore the horrible effects of more chemotherapy treatments, radiation therapies, and gamma ray surgeries on her brain. Because of her stamina and faith, she lived much longer than science predicted. And she lived well.

I knew her nearly ten years, nine of which she lived with breast cancer, yet she didn't define herself by the disease nor speak of it much. I was her somewhat insecure daughter-in-law who longed to be a great wife but lacked many of the skills I needed; she accepted me with unconditional love, gently teaching me things I wanted to know and things I didn't know I needed to know until later.

Her house wasn't perfectly clean, but she knew how to make things grow. She didn't always fold her laundry right out of the dryer, but she knew how to make and fix any article of clothing. She knew how to cook everything from scratch and had every tool imaginable to do it with. She came to visit us in India. She prayed for us. She sewed cushion covers for our couch. She made amazing quilts for Isaac and Russell and a beautiful blessing outfit for Graham.
She studied the scriptures and the words of the prophets, and weaved them into so many casual conversations about life. She babied my lemon tree while we were in India better than I ever would have.
She taught me how to use the light of the sun to whiten my whites. She taught me how to magnify my callings by studying the handbook and relying on my priesthood leaders. She taught me how to cook fresh food from scratch, how to cook beans just right so they taste like a feast. She bought me clothes on sale that livened up my sloppy wardrobe, and thoughtful gifts for my kids that helped them grow and develop. She worked in the temple nearly every week, even when she didn't feel very well, up until a few weeks before her death. She taught me to slow down and enjoy the moment, to focus on my kids and read to them more.

On her last visit to our home in Austin, it was Halloween and she went trick-or-treating with the kids in the bicycle rickshaw. She made us lasagna and sewed the backing on our elephant quilt so we could hang it on the wall.


At Thanksgiving we joined them at Katie's house in Katy, and I knew something had changed when she left us on our own to make the feast without any direction from her. Yet even though she felt rotten, she put on the blue skirt I had brought her from India and put on her makeup to come to the table and eat our clumsy feast.
She tasted and complimented everything, and then she went back to bed to rest, but asked us to leave the door open so she could hear the children running by and playing. Later that night she came out to the living room to watch cheesy movies with us. She always wanted to be in the middle of all the action, involved in all the fun and joy of our lives.

A week later all of her children sat with her in a hospital room in Dallas and laughed together, despite the grim pronouncement that her liver was failing. When I visited with her, she told me she didn't even want to feel better anymore, but she still smiled. When she left the hospital to come home, she had Katie do her makeup and she sat on the couch and talked to everyone who had come to see her--her mother and father, her brother David and her sister Elizabeth and her husband Don. I cooked and cleaned like a maniac, terrified for what long road may lay ahead for everyone. We set up the Christmas tree and ate one last meal together.
On Sunday we partook of the sacrament together in the Spirit-filled living room with the deacons who had come. I wish I had spent more time by her side on that visit. As we left in a rush that Sunday to go back to Austin, I came into her room in my boots, blue ruffled skirt, and scarf to say goodbye, and she said, "That's a nice outfit!" She was always a fashion guru, always so kind and complimentary to me.

When we came back five days later, another piece of her was gone. She could still speak a little, but her look was vacant, her breathing labored, her face contorted in pain. It was painful to stay by her side now, but I longed to do it more this time. After coming to grips with the fact that she wasn't completely there anymore, it began to feel peaceful to sit by her side and listen to her breathing, remembering all she had taught me and all that she was and still is.

After partaking of the sacrament one last time in her home, on Sunday, December 14th at 10:23 pm, she peacefully breathed her last breath in her bedroom with Rich, Katie, Dad and I by her side. She no longer feels any pain, and I know she's working hard in the Spirit World and making up for lost time with her daughter Becky. Looking back, her last words to me were uttered the day before she died and were: "We need to get working on it." Thinking she was talking about the Christmas shopping, I rubbed her shoulder and said, "You don't need to worry about it. We will take care of it. It's your job to rest." Unwittingly, I suppose I committed to continue her work on the earth. A tall order that could take a lifetime and the help of some pretty amazing other Cutlers. I'm so blessed and happy to call myself one of them.

Ross had the brilliant idea of painting the coffin with our handprints. It was a beautiful and happy way to say goodbye after closing the coffin.

Her father, Daddy Dick

Her mother, Grandma Jane

The whole Cutler gang saying goodbye.

We love you and miss you dearly, Grandma!