Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Turkey Talk

Surreal. That's how life feels today. I guess it should since I live halfway around the world from what I'm hard-wired to think is reality. And I think having the Pulsiphers here has reminded me of what American life was like, thus making Indian life all the more incongruous.

It started at 2:00 am when my cell phone (which happened to be next to my ear since I talked to Rich in Bangalore before I fell asleep) rang. It said "private number" on the caller ID, so I thought it must be some emergency from the USA or Mom in Australia. But it was my Grandma Funk in Utah who meant to call her son in California but hit the wrong speed dial button. Oops. After I chatted with her groggily about how fun it is to have the Pulsiphers staying with us, she asked, "Where is everybody?" "Oh, they're all asleep, Grandma. It's the middle of the night."

Luckily I did go back to sleep after Grandma's little surprise (always great to hear from her and partake of her rose-colored view of all things, even at odd hours!). But I still was up early, and quickly remembered that I needed to fix the washer hose I had broken last night. This was a relative emergency because while washing Graham's cloth diapers last night the washer had stopped when it got to the rinse cycle because there wasn't enough water. Because we live in India, we don't have the blessed luxury of constantly running tap water. We do have various mechanisms and people to try to remedy this, but they don't always work as planned. Anyway, before I went to bed I pried the hose off the tap to confirm that indeed there was no water. Made a mental note to put it back on in the morning and wake up the guard to tell him to turn on the water pump so I could get the diapers in the washer rinsed and dried before we ran out. Why, you ask, was I worrying about washing and drying Graham's diapers when I pay two people to occupy my kitchen all day and do housework? I ask myself the same question quite often. Part of the answer to the question is that you get what you pay for (though they are very well paid by local standards). The rest of the answers are partly my poor management skills and partly incomprehensible.

So I spent the better part of my early morning with a screwdriver trying to figure out how to get the hose back on. I kept reasoning aloud (with Michael Pulsipher as my sounding board, who was working on his homeschool homework) that if I could pull it off, I could certainly put it back on. But my brain needs more practice with fix-it work, so it took me a while. I was quite proud of myself, however, when we finally figured it out (by the time I did Isaac was awake and helped me finish it off).

Then David graciously took Isaac to school so he could use the car afterwards. Graham and I read some stories under the stairs and I tried to make a plan for the day. Dawn and I decided to set off with our little ones to Sarojini Nagar to fill the urgent need Isaac has for pants now that the weather has turned "cold" and mosquito-y. So we piled Russell, Graham, Michael, Grace, Katherine, Dawn, Anil (our driver), 6 sliced carrots for Isaac's Thanksgiving feast at school, 7 library books, lots of snacks, diapers and water, and me in the car and made it to Sarojini just after opening time at 11:00. We did amazingly well with our 5 kids in this crazy market full of cheap export clothing. Dawn got a skirt for Elizabeth and a bright pink Indian-looking cotton shirt with sequins and a beautiful gold crepe paisley-printed sari for herself. Russell talked me into a $5 Superman sweatsuit he didn't need. Anil followed us around and tsk-ed at the prices we were paying. But we think $2.50 for a shirt is pretty good! We took a break to take Russell to school by 12:30 and then hit it again. I found four pairs of pants for Isaac, which thankfully turned out to be just what he wanted. $5 each with adjustable waists, some with camouflage accents and zip-off shorts, which he thinks is sooo cool. He plans to use the camouflage to help him hide from his friends at recess.

Success on that count. But when we got home our good bargains quickly dissolved from my memory when I heard the news about the turkeys. Oh, the turkeys. Rich and David will be at home alone this Thanksgiving while Dawn and I take the kids to the Pushkar Camel Fair in Rajahsthan. But this year we're going for a bachelor Thanksgiving party with 10 LDS missionaries joining them for their feast. So we felt like these poor homesick boys needed a turkey. I scoped out the prices of what I could get them for through friend at the American Embassy ($1.60/lb), and decided they might come cheaper locally. So I asked Margaret to look for one during her weekly trip to her favorite food market INA where "everybody knows her name" as they say on Cheers, since she's been a faithful customer for 16 years. But I neglected to give her a price point. And gave her all of this week's food budget for the 13 of us. Big mistake.

So she came home with two turkeys--a male and female with the feet still on. I think she watched them slaughtered herself. Lovely little things totaling 5 kg (about 12 lbs.). But the price . . . not so lovely. $90. NINETY DOLLARS!! For two scrawny little birds. When I asked Margaret why she would pay Rs. 3600 (half the weekly food budget) for them without consulting me, she looked at me blankly, as if to say, "Why wouldn't you spend $90 on a turkey? You throw your money around like water on everything else." Surreal. Last time I checked I'm a miser. But in India, wealth is all relative.

I was incensed by all of this, probably way more than I should have been. But to me it highlights the irony of the fact that I have hired domestic servants to help me around the house and they often cause more stress and more work and more expense than their work is worth. I cannot kick the American way of life and get annoyed when the people who work for me don't act like washing machines, dishwashers, minivans, running water, garbage trucks or security systems.

So anyway, we called the turkey shop and asked the man if we could return the birds. He said he would try to sell them, and then give us the money if he does. Cross your fingers for us! What would you buy? The bird in the refrigerator, or the one you could look in the eye and make friends with before its slaughter? I'm afraid most everyone will choose the latter.

I'm praying they do sell, because I've already committed to buy a frozen turkey imported from the US from my friend. I haven't picked it up yet, but I'm hoping it's a Butterball one with a pop-up plastic button that tells us when it's done!

After the turkey rage and drama died down (mostly) I headed to the church to teach seminary to my class, which was well-attended today: 1 boy and 6 girls. We talked about how Moses learned to delegate and as I taught the students about how important it is for leaders to share their load and accept help and for us to support and help our leaders, I realized how much the Lord is teaching me as I clumsily get leadership practice at the expense of everyone around me. And as I taught them about Mt. Sinai and how the children of Israel were content to let Moses ascend that holy place and talk with God in their behalf instead of being worthy to enter themselves, I learned other whispered truths spoken to my heart about personal revelation and total trust in the Lord and His plan for me.

On the way home from Seminary we dropped off several girls, one of whom was a girl who is investigating our church named Sonam. It seems that Sonam has never ridden in a car before because it made her so sick that she vomited repeatedly out the window after she and I quickly crawled over and around each other so she could get there. Cars honking, hazy air, giggly girls chatting in an incomprehensible tongue in the backseat, rubbing Sonam's back and she vomits out the window again while we crawl forward in traffic. Surreal. But maybe it's more real and raw than anything I've ever experienced in America, and that's why it still shocks me even after two years. Why it breaks my heart and makes me question everything I thought I understood, or perhaps understand it better.

Stay turned to hear the fate of our poor rejected birds . . .

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Into the Mighty Punjab

Here's a video record jaunt into the Punjab to see the Sacred Golden Temple and the Pakistan Border. The person singing in the music is from none other than our new driver, Brother Anil Kumar!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

D-962 NFC, 3/4 Floor Apartment

Here's some of the photos of the house we looked at for our cousin-brother and his family to possibly live in when they come to India.

Living RoomDining Room
Kitchen (with small stove, refrigerator, and water purifier)
Family Room/Sitting Room
View from the back on one of the most beautiful parks in the area. I think you'll have to walk around to enter from the gate on the right side, but it will be very close.
One of the bedrooms. There are three big bedrooms, each with attached bathrooms. There's also a half bath near the terrace.Here's the realtor (agent) Osama on the terrace. There were beautiful potted plants everywhere and marble table for serving food for parties!
Here's the view from the front of the house of the Mata Ki Mandir Temple. It may get a little loud sometimes to be so close, but you'll get a bird's eye view of all that goes on there.
Here's the street in front of the house (same view as above, just the street below). It's usually a lot more busy than this. Again, you'll get a nice view of all the commerce and people in the neighborhood, but it won't be all that quiet with all the cars and people using the road.
View from the entrance of the apartment. That's the dining/living room on the right and Russell is walking toward the family room/bedroom area. If you walked the opposite direction you'd get to the half bath and terraces. There's two levels of terraces. The second on is where the two servant's quarters are and a giant generator.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Qutb Minar with Our LDS Pals

These days there are more American/Canadian Mormons in Delhi than we ever dreamed we'd have. There's so many of us we had to start a yahoogroup to make sure we all got the message when we do things together. We've been doing girls' nights and playdates and dinners. I find it so comforting to have so many people like me around to hang out with. It's like chocolate and ice cream. Yum.

So here we are on a playdate to the Qutb Minar. A kid paradise. Things to climb everywhere.

(L to R) Chase Jordan, Russell, Owen Reynolds, & The Smiths: Hannah, Becca, Mary, Naomi, Aaron, Lizzie, Ben Russell says, "Chase is older and smarter, but I'm faster." I'm never quite sure how to respond to this, but I was happy to notice in this picture that they're holding hands while running. Maybe Russell's decided they can both be smart and fast.
Bryce, Russell, Chase, Owen & Graham
Chase Jordan, Russell's best friend. We'll miss them so much when they leave in a few weeks, but we're glad that they will be in Utah since we always go there.

Bobette Leavitt, Merinda, Michelle Jordan, Kerali Reynolds, Amy Smith, Amber Flake

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Bumps, Eunuchs, Monkeys, and Posh Spice: The Latest Birthdays

Bumps: Dad's 33rd Birthday

At my office birthdays are a big deal. I don't know what other offices around here do but at ours, the order of things is:
  1. Cut the cake. While cutting the cake everybody claps and sings "Happy Birthday".
  2. Your nearest friends each grab a piece of the cake with their hands and feed you a bite.
  3. Then they dot some of the cake on your forehead (like what you would see in a Hindu temple).
  4. Then they smear the cake all over your face.
  5. While you excuse yourself to wash the oily cake off your face, everybody has a piece.
  6. For the brave guys, when you get back you get your bumps. (I think this may come from the British) One guy grabs your arms and another your legs and they bump you up and down.


Thankfully for them, they took off my glasses so I couldn't tell who to give a bad performance reviews.

This is me after the ritual:

Posh Spice: Merinda's 30th Birthday

A bunch of Merinda's friends led by Marcia put together a suprise 30th birthday party. She was completely surprised. Squeals of delight and total embarrassment.

It was fun getting together Merinda's "European/Australian" buddies, and her Mormon friends:
Here's Marcia, Lesley & Kerali. Marcia tried to mix it up so there was something for both groups--alcohol and party games.

This one was a game where you had to try and get people to guess what was written on their foreheads.
Unfortunately, Merinda is a bit behind on her popular culture. Even getting her to "British pop singer married to David Beckham" didn't get her the real answer....

Monkeys: Graham's 2nd Birthday

The first thing we did was went with Sister Glaris to the Delhi Zoo.

Since it was hotter than the blazes we blew up our little pool and let the kids run around. Our local monkey-wallah seems to have a sixth sense about when there is a birthday because it didn't take long before he came down the road on his bicycle with his monkeys beating the drum. So we let him in for a monkey show, which Graham completely enjoyed (here he's feeding the monkey a green bean).Here's Graham with the whole gang: Russell, Dad, Graham, Merinda, Isaac, Pooja, Lakshmi, Margaret, and Shiva. Was meant to be a family party, but "family" is a very fluid concept in India!
Eunuchs: Isaac's 7th Birthday

For Isaac's birthday we invited all of his classmates. I think all in all we had about 25 kids. The balloon man came, as usual and blew up around 100 balloons with his mouth. This time though we had an interesting addition to the party--a hijera! Here he/she is doing a little dance. They show up at big events and want you to pay them money to take away the evil spirits from your event. They're sort of like atonement figures, I guess. I think Rich gave them some money and they went on their way.

The theme for the party was magic, so we played "The Disappearing Kid" with toilet paper! This is Isaac magically making Yotam disappear. Isaac and Dad also did a pretty successful magic show with ropes that go through people and magical reading of cards and ipod speakers that magically turn on. Isaac was so excited for this part and has now enrolled in a magic class after school taught by a professor (of magic?) who tells the kids over and over never to do a trick more than once for someone. So Isaac's not getting much practice! But he's pretty good judging from the ONE time I've seen him do each trick . . .
Here's the cake that Merinda made herself with some help from Margaret at the beginning and end. I don't know why I keep insisting on making my own cakes because it makes me crazy and tense and I'm not even good at it. This one is supposed to be a magic hat with a bunny popping out. The hat collapsed though. :(
And that's all for the birthday season for the Cutlers. Stay tuned for more festivities at Diwali and Christmas!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Pink Pudding

Just wanted to share this great story from our friends up the road, the Smiths.

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Most Amazing Breakfast Cereal EVER

So a couple of weekends ago Merinda sent me to the local grocery place and one of the things on the list was some breakfast cereal. To save a few rupees I picked up the local brand.

Just a disclaimer: It always bothers me when people mock foreigners trying to speak English. Let's give them credit, I mean, how good is your Hindi?

So grammer aside, just check out the wonderful things that this breakfast cereal can do. Here's the printing on the back:

Avee's Family Crunch Muesli
It's origin has been from Switzerland and other western countries, which proved magnificent results on mind, mood, physique, stamina, tummy, digestive system, tolerance, longitivity and general health. Hence the Avee's Family Crunch Muesli has much been appreciated and motivate the liking and love of maximum personalities of various spheres of life in the world.
Benefits
Avee's Family Crunch Muesli avoids dowdy or slacking & keeps one alert, smart, attractive, young, impressive and dominating. Being a most be-fitting low-fat-diet keeps a person ever ready to take up any task successfully any time of a day or night & produce outstanding results.
Gives stamina to devote more hours on work without break & without feeling dowdy or dour.
Least time consuming and is a perfect low fat diet and a fastest food available any time without much of struggle.
Boost vitimans, reduces cholesterol, maintains youth-fullness.
Taste & Consumption
Avee's Family Crunch Muesli consumption goes up for its delicious taste, health giving ingredients, life-long benefits, and facilitates fast food.
Fibre Editable Grains
Regular use of Avee's Family Crunch Muesli boosts appetite-an orderly healthy routine, maintains smart physique, stamina & sexual urge.

So of course I had to eat this stuff every day for a while. I mean long life? Good looks? Succeed in ANY task day or night? The very Fountain of Youth sitting before me in this box? Not to mention that bit at the end... How could you not eat it at any and all possible times?

As it turns out, the task was not easy. The stuff tasted like moist cardboard. Still, I did feel something different. The mystical renewing powers of this ancient land's breakfast cereal? Or just the power of positive thinking?